Serving in Cyberspace

Some true self bondage experiences

Bondage has been a kink of mine since I was very young.  Self bondage is something I started playing with as soon as I moved out of my parent’s house.  I am 54 years old now so I have been doing this for quite a while, although lately it has been getting more high tech. I have decided to share some of my more memorable experiences.

I am married and have kids, although now that we are “empty nesters” it has gotten a bit easier.  My wife knows of my self bondage desires and while she does not participate in any way I will now inform her when I intend to do it and to some degree she is my “safety”.  Informing my wife wasn’t always the case, however, which is how this will start.

It was around the year 1998 or so when I acquired an “online” Mistress. We never met, and I never saw any picture of her but she saw plenty of me! We would chat on Instant Messenger and send email.  She would give me assignments and require pictures to prove I had complied.  Mistress had control of my masturbation but fortunately would usually allow me to cum every few days and only a few times denied me for more than a week.  When I was allowed it usually involved some sort of assignment with pictures.  Mistress usually allowed me several days to complete an assignment, but since orgasm was tied to completion of said task I was usually very prompt.

The digital camera was a bit of a problem.  They were very expensive back then and I couldn’t afford a decent one.  Taking pictures of yourself required at least a self timer, which the inexpensive units didn’t have.  My solution was to buy a higher end “web cam”, which also doubled as a camera.  This hooked to the computer via the USB port (USB was fairly new back then) and could take either video or still pictures.  What made this cheap and versatile to me was that it didn’t need a memory card or batteries.  As long as I used it with a computer I could take a fairly unlimited number of pictures and the supplied software would allow taking pictures at a specified interval.

I still remember my first assignment:  I had to take a cantaloupe, cut a small hole in the end and then “fuck” the hole.  After I was done I had to eat the cantaloupe. 

The real problem was where I could perform my assignments.  My wife didn’t work and the kids would be home after school so anything at home was very limited.  Fortunately, I worked in the town of Alviso, which is located at the very southern tip of the San Francisco bay, which is an area that is primarily salt ponds.  The area was also considered a “nature” area and there were trails out on to the levees surrounding the ponds.  One such trail was over five miles around the pond, a rather long walk but a fairly easy bike ride.  Leading off the main trail were several access roads that go a ways and dead end, usually at some piece of equipment for operating the salt pond.  It was at these dead end trails where I would frequently carry out Mistress’s instructions.

Picture, if you will, a geeky engineer leaving work around 1:30 for a bit of bicycle exercise.  Fairly normal for the area, except perhaps for the backpack I carried.  On this first assignment it carried a laptop (which was fairly bulky by today’s standards) and a cantaloupe.  I arrive at my spot, set up the laptop, strip naked and execute the task while making sure the camera recorded the important steps.  Once finished I dressed and rode back to work where I could shower (good thing as my genitals were sticky from the cantaloupe) and then emailed selected pictures to Mistress.

Mistress was thrilled with the outdoor aspect of my task completion and she capitalized on it, adjusting her assignments to fit the available resources.  Fantasy was a large part of our relationship and she would often require me to write a story and pose some pictures that would go with it.

One such assignment involved a little “pier” that extended from the levee into the salt pond.  At the end of this pier was a wheel that controlled the flood gate for the pond.  The pier was only about 24 inches wide with a rather rickety railing and was very weathered.  My assignment was to lay on the walkway with my feet tied to the rails, and my reward for lasting 20 minutes was that I could masturbate at the end. 

It takes about 20 minutes to ride to this spot and due to it being very flat and no significant vegetation you can see someone coming for quite a ways off.  With a little shelter from the nearby structures I was sure that no one from that distance would be able to make out what I was doing. Like before I set the laptop and camera up, stripped naked, attached my nylon wrist and ankle cuffs, lay on the rough wood walkway, tied ropes to the ankle cuffs, thread them over the rail and pulled my feet up.  I then tied the ropes to my wrist cuffs and lay there, arms and legs extended up to the guard rail.  If you ignore the knots in easy reach it appeared as if I was quite helpless.  The camera was taking a shot every 30 seconds so I was able to send Mistress over 60 shots that proved I spent the specified time (each picture file had the file creation time).

A later assignment was something rather simple but I managed to make it a bit more complicated.  There was a chain link fence that surrounded a pump house which apparently is used when the salt pond is to be emptied.  The gate on this fence had long ago been compromised, I suspect not by vandals but rather by a worker who didn’t have the key and needed in.  The pump was intact, just the gate was pried open.  My instructions were to tie myself to that fence, and of course write a suitable story to go alone with it. 

I had done self bondage with an ice release before so I decided that I would spruce this assignment up some.  The night before I froze two strings into an 8 ounce cube of ice.  (I actually did that at my work freezer as it was common for people to have a box with their name on it in the refrigerator).  My “lock” was a simple piece of 1/4” plywood cut into a “U” shape that would fit snuggly at the base of my cock, behind the balls.  Two small holes at the top of the U were drilled to tie the string to. 

When it was time to execute my assignment I retrieved my ice lock from the freezer and put it in a can “cozy” to slow its melt rate.  20 minutes later I am setting up the computer/camera as usual.  Standing next to the chain link fence I work my cock and balls through the diamond shape hole.  I am close enough to the open gate that I can reach around to help pull my cock through and then slide the “U” UP from the bottom.  One string of my ice lock, which is looped through the ice so that both ends are available, is tied to the top of the “U” (both ends of the same string to the U).  The second string (also looped through so both end were available) has a small nut tied to one end (to ensure it didn’t slip through too early), while the other end is tied to a snap hook which I fasten as high up on the fence as it will reach.   I am wearing my nylon wrist cuffs and use a padlock to lock my hands behind my back.  The key to this padlock is next to the computer, way out of reach.  I had tied a short rope to the fence at waist height that has a snap hook at the free end.  With my bound hands I am able to reach the rope, work it around my waist and snap the hook to the fence.  This isn’t to make my bondage more secure but rather provide a safety so I don’t fall and really hurt myself!  I am now stuck until the ice melts the U drops to free my cock & balls.

This predicament provided quite a rush!  All my previous assignments I could have aborted as soon as I saw anyone approaching and avoid any actual exposure. This time, however, I was committed and the thought that someone might actually come along was exciting.  I struggled, but the best I could do was pull against the board trapping my cock & balls in hopes of breaking it.  All I succeeded in doing was chafing the tender skin

The ordeal actually took a bit longer than I had expected.  I had removed the can cozy when I tied it up but it sill took nearly an hour before the string pulled free of the ice.  Unfortunately the laptop battery was only good for 45 minutes so I wasn’t able to show Mistress the entire ordeal.  Fortunately, Mistress was pleased and really liked the ice lock enhancement.

I had a number of additional assignments out at the salt ponds but Mistress didn’t want me using the ice timer in public.  On the rare occasions that I had the house to myself Mistress would instruct me to use the ice lock for a more traditional self bondage technique (dropping a key).

As I mentioned above Mistress required me to write a story for her that went along with the pictures.  For one of my self bond at home assignments the story I wrote had it so that Mistress came in, used/abused me and left without my ever seeing her (due to a blindfold).  There had been other assignments that simply required me to be at a particular place (such as the train station) at a specific time, the presumption was that Mistress would pass by in the crowd and be able to observe me first hand.  She never acknowledged that she had been there, however. 

After I wrote the story about being bound and available to Mistress she told me to write up a “plan” for how we could do that for real.  I sure couldn’t use my home, and I couldn’t expect to inconvenience Mistress. So this was the plan I came up with:

Mistress would select a motel of her choice. The assumption is that the motel would be convenient to her evening commute.  On the agreed upon day I would leave at noon and go check into the motel.  I would get two keys, one of which I would stash some place in the motel parking lot.  I would take pictures of the spot and make careful notes so that Mistress would be able to find it.

In the room I would set up the laptop and webcam.  I had a “web cam” account on a server that provided an “adult” service (this was fairly popular back then) which Mistress had access to (private to anyone else).  The motel would have free wireless but you need the access code which would be obtained at check in.  As soon as I was logged in I would email Mistress the pictures and description of where the key was hidden, the room number, and the wireless access code. 

With the web cam operating Mistress would be able to check on my progress and make sure I was working diligently!  I would be checking email and chat frequently in case there were any additional instructions from Mistress.  I would bring a few tools, including a cordless drill and a “stud finder”. Locating a ceiling joist I would drill a small hole and then thread in an eye bolt.  I would bring along some wallboard repair putty to repair the hole afterword.  I would be careful to clean up all the mess from the drilling so the modification would probably go unoticed.

While I would be working I would expect Mistress to give additional instructions, which might include working naked, putting clothespins on my nipples or other forms of torment. Mistress leaves work at 4:00 so I would have to have all preparations done by 3:30.  By that time I would have a short chain hanging from the ceiling, an assortment of toys and whips arranged on the bed and would be naked except for the cuffs on my wrists and ankles.  One last check for additional instructions and then I would make the final preparations.

A portable CD player was to be duct taped to the chain with the ear buds hanging down.  The CD inside was one I would make so the songs were selected to provide two hours of music (Mistress might select the music for me).  I would stand under the chain and fasten a spreader bar to the ankle cuffs.  Insert the ear buds and then use an Ace elastic bandage around my head as a blindfold and to ensure the ear buds stayed in place. A ball gag would be inserted and buckled behind my head.  Press the PLAY button on the CD player and then use a snap hook to fasten the wrist cuffs to the chain.

My instructions would be to remain there until the two hours passed.  Reaching the end of the music would be my signal that it was time to release myself.

Mistress could arrive anytime during that two hour window.  When she arrived she could find a spot where she could get Wireless Internet from the motel and log on and check the web cam, just to be sure that I was properly restrained.  She could locate the hidden key and let herself into the room.  The CD player would mask any sounds so I wouldn’t know if she was there or not, unless she decided to make her presence known, perhaps by using one of the whips I had provided.  If Mistress had not made her presence known she could return the key to the hidden spot and I might never know if she was there or not.

After I proposed this it occurred to me that Mistress had other slaves.  What if she gave the assignment to another slave to go to the motel room and do something?  Perhaps Mistress would enjoy watching the web cam of one of her slaves using another?  I kept quiet about that thought!

Alas, I never had an opportunity to execute that plan.  I had some major issues come up that I had to focus on and I begged Mistress to release me.  Once I got my life sorted out again I was unable to re-establish communication with Mistress.

12.07.10