Self Bondage Humiliation

There it was, the package I had been waiting for so long… I was so excited I could hardly contain myself - I could even feel getting wet. I was a bit scared though, I had used my credit card for the mail-order again, which created a traceable link between me, the ever-proper daughter of a rich businessman, and the downright sleazy "Mr. BondageGear" of the web.

I had to be scared a little bit… I could feel my obsession for self-bondage and other kink taking over my conscience in the past year or so. It worried me even though I had managed to shield these fantasies from my otherwise decent life as an exceptional student. I had quite a Jekyll & Hyde thing going on, member of the student council, heading for one of the top Law Schools, voice of female empowerment on the student paper - and a bondage fetishist whenever I find the rare opportunity to engage in my not-so proper activities!!!

I examined myself on the mirror: The sizzling chick on the mirror wasn't really me - it was sort of an outing for my naughty, kinky alter ego. No goody two shoes underwear - I was in the sexiest, tiniest set of Victoria's Secret lingerie I owned, color black of course - for my naughty alter ego!!! I even made sure the bra was a size too small for my already ample breasts. The way my chest looked really turned me on, my boobs looking like they could burst out of the bra any moment.

I've always been proud of my body even though I always make an extra effort to dress conservatively. I deserve my good-looks, never skipping my daily work-out, even in the midst of finals or other crisis. Just because I'm headed for my role as a power-woman, doesn't mean I shouldn't be giving men a hard-on at first sight!!!

It was time for my kinky little adventure. I was a little worried of getting caught of course, though I considered that possibility to be zero since I was extremely careful. I would never engage in this sort of thing otherwise. I was more worried over the fact that my self-bondage games were becoming an obsession, making me take more and more risk.

Self-bondage was a totally strange part of my character but it was there. Ever since I started playing with myself as a little girl, I always envisioned a bunch of ruthless men tying me up, abusing me in nasty ways. Needless to say, these little fantasies never quite fit in with my self-image. I considered myself to be a very strong-willed young woman, if not a feminist. No doubt, some family influence there. My mother is a very successful woman, always pushing me harder…

I had a typical Beverly Hills life back home and I made a conscious effort to avoid the rich-bitch reputation in College. I aced most my classes, heading for honors degrees and Law School. My friends always thought I was too uptight. I did not care, though…

In fact, that was why we had a minor quarrel with my housemates that day.

I had three housemates - two males and a female: Liz, Bill and Steve. Liz was my roommate from freshman year. We had been best friends and lived together all four years of college. We had rented this townhouse the previous year, with two other girls who graduated a year before us. Thus, we were forced to pick up two new housemates and after many failed attempts, we ended up with Bill and Steve at the beginning of our Senior year. I was very reluctant to have male housemates at first but I finally cowed into Liz. Bill and Steve were good friends of ours, anyway. In many ways of course, they were the opposite of me - both were players on the Rugby team; typical college guys who desired nothing other than beer and sex. I guess my alter-ego liked them better than my normal self… In any case, we did need to find two housemates and we simply had no other choice, not willing to foot the whole rent…

The fact of the matter is, Liz was completely hot for Bill and did not want to miss this grand opportunity to cozy up with him. And that was why she had been a total bitch to me in the last few weeks. It seemed like all Bill wanted was to get into my pants!!! - which wasn't going to happen of course; we were fine as friends but there was no way I was going to allow some "rugby stud" to lay a hand on me. And naturally, Liz was rather jealous…

Anyhow, on September 26th 1996 - a date that I cannot forget as you can tell - the three of them were heading to a Rugby game all the way in Virginia. Bill and Steve would play, Liz would root - mostly for Bill of course.

And they were all pissed at me!! You see, after each rugby game, the team threw a party. All of my housemates wanted to have the party at our place, contemplating that our huge basement would be ideal for the occasion. They had even bought 4 kegs of beer for the party. They were rather pissed when their little plan didn't get the stamp of approval from me!! There was no way I would tolerate a bunch of Rugby guys getting drunk and puking all over my house.

They were all mad at me but I did not care - the hell with them I thought… they can go mess up some slob's house…

But that wasn't really why I declined to join them in their trip. For one thing, I just loathed most of the rugby players other than Bill and Steve. They were just a bunch of despicable, sexist, drunken savages. Secondly, I knew they would be high by the time they got back here. The after-game party was only the icing on the cake - they were usually too toasted to even stand by the time the party got going… except for the freshmen who were given the assignment of driving back to the school while their big brothers did the pot. I just hated that scene, having very little to do with alcohol and none with marijuana. But most importantly, I had other plans for the day, didn't I???!!!…

Liz, Bill and Steve had been gone for an hour now - it was time to get busy. I opened the brown package I had purchased. I had all the necessary toys. Handcuffs, ropes, even nipple clamps… But this latest piece was special (so was its price at $149): Handcuffs with a timer!! These would make the whole procedure of getting in-and-out of bondage much more precise - and much more fun…

I mused myself thinking what my housemates would think if they ever knew what I was up to. (But then even the idea of that sent shivers down my spine). I reconsidered what I was about to do for a second but I was too excited to change my mind.

I headed for the basement. Ever since we had started living with the guys, I had been too shy to even take sunbathes out in the yard, let alone wonder around the house in my underwear. But the house was mine now. They would not be back till 5 PM - I had the whole house for my use for 7 hours. This was going to be a lot of fun, I'd be using my new fancy handcuffs.

I headed for the basement. I had always used my own room for self-bondage before but this time, I'd be using the basement for the set-up I had in mind. I had purchased a special table for today's entertainment and it wouldn't fit in my tiny room.

I set up the table in the basement. It was only about two feet high, with convenient holes and hooks on it. I remembered what a hard time I had trying to sneak its package into the house without any of my housemates nosing in. I got on my knees on the table, locked my ankles into two cuffs attached to the table. My ankles were forced wide apart by the distance between the cuffs. I'd be able to push my legs little closer together but not much. We already had a hook on the ceiling to hang things and the table was placed right underneath it. I hooked the chain to the ceiling and tied it to the timer handcuffs I had purchased.

I carefully placed the ball gag between my teeth, adjusting the strap so that it was firm, but wouldn't leave any marks on my face. Next, I wrapped a wide leather collar around my throat, locking it in place with a small padlock.

I attached the timer handcuffs to the chain hanging from the ceiling. I set the timer to 45 minutes. 45 minutes of constant stimulation and teasing would get me hot enough for a major orgasm once my hands were free again. I placed my "favorite pillow" between my legs - I knew I could tease myself by rubbing against the edge of the pillow but I could not bring myself off this way no matter how hard I tried - though trying would certainly add to my lust.

I took a deep breath, avoided all the reconsiderations and locked my hands in the cuffs, pulling my body taut. The sensations in my pussy started right away. The panic, the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness immediately stimulated me. There was a large mirror across the room - I'd be watching myself throughout the bondage session. I was forced into a butt-thrusting spread legged position, trying desperately to relieve myself with the pillow, already moaning and sweating.

Fantasies were running through my mind. I was the Princess of Britain but oh, no - my ship was captured by pirates, all my servants were killed. I was tied up like this, painfully aware that soon pirates would get on with gangbanging, torturing and humiliating me.

I was a college sorority girl who was captured by the rival sorority for the purpose of tickling and teasing. And taking my naked pictures to put on the internet.

How had I let a psychopath kidnap me? Now, I was tied up in his basement as he was getting ready to torture me.

The fantasies were driving me crazy. The panties were already soaked. I was panting and sweating like a dog. I really wanted to bring myself off in order to end the torture but to no avail - the pillow wouldn't do it. I was close to relief anyway - just a few minutes more and I'd be free to dig my fingers into my pussy and enjoy an earth shattering orgasm.

That's when it happened - I can remember the numbers on the mirror even today, big red flashy numbers of the timer reflecting on the mirror: 44:18. I had set the timer to 45 hours!!!!!!!. All my panting suddenly ceased. I felt like I would pass out. I wanted to pass out - it would have been a nice break from the reality I faced. I felt like I was about to choke in fear and panic. How could the stupid thing be set to 45 hours. I hadn't even thought of it!!!

I was shaking in panic. All of a sudden I hated myself. I despised myself for putting myself in this situation: I could be caught - I would be caught!!! I began thrusting and fighting against my bonds, really trying to free myself for the first time - all my crazy efforts were to no avail.

I would be humiliated beyond my wildest fears.

I don't know how time passed. Even though my panic and desperation grew by the minute, I found myself rubbing against the pillow despite my best efforts. I kept thrashing against my bonds but it didn't do any good, except making me hornier than I ever could imagine was possible. I kept closing my eyes as though it would make the handcuffs unlock all of a sudden - instead it only flashed images in my mind straight out of bondage porns. I had been in my self inflicted bondage for 8 hours, horny enough to fuck a roadkill. That's when I heard the noises upstairs. They were back. I could hear them moving around. I felt like my head was spinning around. I wanted to die…

They were unusually yelling, swearing and laughing. I heard somebody drop something which crashed loudly. It was only followed with laughs. My heart sunk. They were really high!!!! I hated it when Steve and Bill got high. They were nice guys but they had a real nasty mean streak in them which usually came out when they got high.

I had no doubt they would now try to take advantage of the situation. They usually got a little too aggressive while on drugs anyway. My fear was unbearable. Would they take pictures of me? Would they touch me, make me do things? Would they call their Rugby buddies to display the spectacle? Would they strip me?

"Where's Lara?" I heard Liz ask loudly. My heart was pumping like crazy.

"Please don't come down here" I begged as though anything would make a difference now. And I heard the footsteps coming down the stairs. My last thought was a plea for God to kill me right there and then.

Steve walked in with a beer in his hand. His face expression spoke volumes. He was absolutely stoned. "Jesus" he said. "Jesus. What…Lara…?"

"Bill!!" he yelled for his friend. "Come here!!!"

Bill came down to the basement with the same kind of amazement on his face.

"Lara, what's happened to you" he asked. "Did somebody try to rape you?" It took him a little to realize I couldn't answer because of the gag in my mouth. Maybe he was trying to hide his enjoyment in seeing me well-tied, clad in my undies but he really couldn’t.

Finally, he removed my gag. I coughed. I was looking for words to explain the situation as he checked out my large breasts which were lewdly seeking freedom from the imprisonment of the tiny bra. He had a huge grin on his face but he probably wasn't even aware of it because of the marijuana.

"Please" I managed to mumble. "Uncuff me".

"Yeah, sure" he said. "Did somebody try to rape you?" he asked again.

"Not so fast" declared Liz, stopping Bill. I hadn't even seen her come down to the basement. "She wasn't raped or anything" she said all amused.

"She did it to herself. Didn't you? horny slut… Why don't you answer?"

I meant to answer, deny… but I could only look down, trying to hide my crimson red face from the mockful looks of my housemates. Liz grabbed the packages on the floor.

"Hmmm" she said smirking. "Let's see, look at this box, with all kinds of kinky toys in it. Look at the receipt: A set of handcuffs with timer, a nine-tail crop, nipple clamps, a torture table. Charged on a Gold American Express. Lara, darling, would this be your Gold Amex?" she chuckled.

"You know guys, it doesn't really matter!!" she said chuckling. "Look at all the stuff I found on her bed…" said Liz as she gagged me again. She was being completely vicious. I almost fainted. I had left all my bondage stuff on my bed - naturally I was supposed to hide them all by the time everybody got back, just in case somebody curious would decide to creep into my room, like Liz.

They were now going over the "stuff": Nasty bondage magazines, showing helpless girls getting tortured, the print-outs of stories I had downloaded from internet, even a picture of myself in bondage - one I had taken with an automatic camera last week. They were all laughing and making degrading comments which I tried to block out.

"Well" commented Liz, "she probably would have wanted to get raped".

"Well, let's give her what she wants" yelled Bill all excited. "Let's s strip her…".

"Wow, wow" objected Steve. "We can't just… rape Lara!!"

"We're not gonna rape her" countered Liz. "She's gonna like every bit of it. She's just too shy to admit she loves being treated like a bondage whore. Besides, you really think "Miss BeverlyHills princess/Power Girl" here would just go press charges or something? Let her little fantasies become public knowledge? Humiliate herself and her family? Can you imagine the headlines??!" She laughed out loud. "No, I know her too well - she'll take whatever we do to her and she'll enjoy it very very very much!!! Besides if she complains, we can always say she wanted us to treat her like this, just wanted us to play with her… Don't you think this is plenty of evidence…? (pointing at all the stuff I had purchased)".

"Steve, go get your camera" ordered Liz. "She likes pictures, she'll get pictures…".

I was listening to every word that came out of Liz's mouth with a surreal feeling… My best friend… Now betraying me, humiliating me, destroying me… And she was right of course - I just wanted this to end. I would do anything, anything to spare me the humiliation of people learning about my secrets…

The events following this were the most frustrating, degrading, humiliating moments of my life.

First I was stripped out of my suggestive set of lingerie. I was dying of humiliation as my naked body was put on display in front of my friends, much to their amusement. They made lewd remarks, joked and laughed about how my panties were soaking wet. Steve merrily told me "It's obvious how horny you are babe, seems like you got yourself all worked up since we left - you're literally dripping for crying out loud - but I'm afraid you are a loooong loooong way from cumming".

They placed the clamps on my nipples - I had never done that before. They hurt like crazy but Steve, Bill and Liz just laughed like hell. They took a whole bunch of pictures - Bill said my naked picture, bound, gagged and with the nipple clamps would be the new screensaver on his computer.

Then, Liz decided to use the crop on me. The two boys took a seat across me, with beers in their hands, and watched the spectacle as Liz beat me with the nine-tail whip. They cheered for Liz and laughed at how I jerked my body and cried under my gag with each hit.

They got drunker and drunker. I was a mess of sweat and lust - despite my best efforts, the more they beat me, the more I was humiliated, the hornier I got. And finally the worst happened - Bill came in with the hose and connected it to the sink in the basement, and gave me an ice cold shower with the hose, cleaning my body. Then he stood in front of me and started penetrating me as Liz kept beating my butt and thrusting my body forward, much to Bill's delight. Bill cummed so quick, I didn't even have enough time to relieve myself. I could almost cry out of frustration - despite the terrible degradation, I was craving for sex, I wanted a cock, a thousand cocks in me, in every one of my holes.

Just when I thought it could not get any worse, Steve came down to the basement with the remoteless phone, calling his rugby buddies as I listened in sheer panic. "We are having the party at our place" he let them know. "Yeah, we found a way to convince the uptight bitch!!! In fact, she agreed to provide most of the entertainment herself!! What did you say? You'd love to fuck her brains out??? Well, Bruce, body, ya never know… Ya never know…"

Liz attached a large card to my nipple clamps. The card was attached to the clamps with two short chains and it read "Please Abuse Me, I Need It". It was also attached to the keg with a long rope so each time somebody poured beer, my nipples would be pulled out.

Soon enough our basement was filled with drunken rugby players. My housemates had placed the kegs right next to me, making sure I did not suffer from any lack of attention. Not that I could go unnoticed while I was on display for more than 20 college guys. They all groped me, grabbed me, molested my breasts and buttocks. But Liz didn't allow anyone to penetrate me, telling everyone it was more fun to keep me frustrated. Yet, they removed my gag at some point and I was persuaded (with the help of the crop) into giving blow jobs for all the rugby players I loathed. They stood up on the table one-by-one, forcing their smelly, fat dicks down my throat. Bill took all kinds of pictures, with dicks in my mouth, cumm all over my face and hair.

I had lost whatever dignity I had. I still wasn’t relieved and I was crying and begging for relief; amusing the guests tremendously. It only added to their perception that I was nothing but a kinky whore who deserved to be treated like this.

Finally, at around 5 AM, they allowed me to relieve myself. Liz released one of my hands from the handcuffs and despite a huge rush of humiliation, I masturbated as a full room of visitors watched in delight. Of course, Bill did not miss this opportunity to take more degrading pictures of me.

I was released after that and I went straight to my bed - where to my own embarrassment I brought myself to three more orgasms within half-an-hour.

It turned out Liz was completely right in her gamble - there was no way I could ever bear the humiliation of letting my bondage fantasies be known or my naked pictures be posted all over the net. Consequently, not only did I not do anything about my abuse, in time I became the subject of Liz's blackmailing. She contended nobody could prove she did anything wrong, it was all the guys who abused me and furthermore I could very well lose whatever case I had due to all the evidence she had - pictures, credit card slips, stories written by me... Not to mention the life-destroying humiliation I'd have to go through…

So I became very subservient to Liz who gladly shared me with her other housemates. At first I did not know why she was so vicious towards me - I thought it was because Bill had been after me for such a long time. But it turned out Liz was bi-sexual and she was every bit as much into bondage as I was - if not more. Only at a different capacity… She wanted to dominate!! I had no idea but she had known about my little secret life for a long time - though she wasn't aware I was obsessed enough to engage in self-bondage. She had been waiting for the right opportunity…!! And that opportunity obviously surfaced on September 26th 1996!!!!

My housemates' dominance over me grew by the day over the year. I was forced into doing and saying so many things that there was no doubt I could ever press any charges against anyone - nobody would believe I did anything against my will.

Much to my horror, I became the main attraction for the rugby parties every one of which was held in our basement whether I liked it or not. My housemates and the Rugby team had a smashing senior year, with tons of fun and the pictures to prove it. I quickly made a name for being a real slut, sleeping with all the rugby guys. This certainly trashed my fine reputation but not to the extent it would if, say, Liz decided to post all my nasty pictures on the Net… So I kept on serving obediently!!!!

At the end, I did manage to survive the worst year of my life…with a destroyed ego…

2001