This is a story of how I got the desire to dress in women’s clothing and my fetish desires. I have been dressing in women’s clothes for quite some time now. It started at a very young age and has continued into my adult years to the present. My dad was the one who started me on the road to wearing female clothes. I don’t know why I still do it, I guess it is a unconscious desire. I don’t really want to be a woman but only to wear the clothes of a woman.
My fetish desires started later in life. I have dreamt of being chastised permanently for the rest of my life with no way to have sex with a woman ever again. I have often desired to be bound and gagged with no escape except to be released by my captor. I have often dreamt of being encased in latex rubber permanently as well. All the desires have yet to take place though. I can fantasize about all day making myself get wet and hard with the thoughts running rampant in my mind.
On one occasion I dream that I’m at home and have a permanent penis chastity device ready to be installed. I would take and give myself two or three enemas to flush out my insides in preparation for the foam sealant I intend to put into me. After I clean my system out I would put the chastity tube onto my pierced penis and screw in the break off screws not ready to break them off just yet. I then go into the bedroom to put on my girl clothes. First I put on a pair of crotchless panty hose so that my penis is sticking out, I then put a pair of crotchless briefs to keep the stockings up. I proceed to put on my bra and fake boobs.
I continue to put on several other layers of female clothes to make me look like a woman. The last article of clothing I put on is a miniskirt. I can feel my penis straining in the tube trying to get hard but the metal tube is preventing that from happening. I then put a gag in my mouth to keep me from speaking or making any noise. I have a gas mask type hood and I put it on as well. To keep me from taking the gag out of my mouth I duct tape the gas mask in place. When the mask is sufficiently secured I then take the handle for the break off screws and attach it to the first screw. By now I have a lot of anxiety building up inside me and my heart is racing fast. I know if I do this, it will never come off.
I close my eyes and with a quick turn the first screw head is broke off. Now my heart is racing even faster and I start getting light headed. I can still get it off now if I don’t attach the handle to the other screw. I decide to put the handle on the other screw anyway and stop for a few minutes to slow my heart down. I look in the mirror and see what I have done and the way I look. I take a few pictures to remember what is going on. I play with the handle turning this way and that, screwing and un-screwing the screw, finally with out even thinking about it I screw it in and give it a final turn breaking off the head permanently chastising myself.
It takes a few seconds for my mind to catch up to the event that just happened. “My god what have I just done, I can’t have sex anymore”! Now my mind is really racing because my wife will come home soon and I am chastised permanently. Well, I guess I had better finish my task and fill my anal cavity with the foam sealant. I take the can and shake it up really good for a good minute or so and then lay on my back and insert the tube into my ass. I give the trigger a squeeze and feel the foam shooting inside me. I count to about 45 and stop squeezing the trigger to give foam time to expand some. I feel it filling up my insides. I squeeze the trigger again and count to 30 and stop. The sensation is intense and a little painful but I manage to bear it. Looking at my chastised penis and felling the effects of the foam on my insides is very erotic. I can feel myself trying to get hard and getting wet from the exercise.
Well the next thing I do is to put myself into rope bondage. I put a pair of knee length ballet boots and secure them with rope around my ankles, then my knees, which keeps me from walking around, like I could anyway cause walking in ballet boots is not very easy. I kneel down to a sitting position and proceed to tie myself up into a hogtie position. The very last thing I do is put on a pair of double locking handcuffs with the key well out reach. With all that has been done, it has only been about an hour and a half. Now I have about two more hours to wait till my wife comes home to find me in this predicament.
I start to test my bonds trying to find a way to get loose. I guess I did a good job this time cause I can’t budge any. I start to get nervous and scared cause now I have really put myself into a situation I can’t get out off. I usually leave myself an out but not this time cause I wanted to get caught by my wife and get a reaction out of her. Well my plan for that succeeded.
04.11.07