© Copyright 2005 - voltsjolts - Used by permission
Storycodes: Sbm; electroplay; cons; X
Eventually that got boring too and I wanted true
surprise. I started adding an extra battery and starting the timers
without knowing how strong it was going to be when the resistor reached
zero. Again it was not enough because even with all the timers there
was still some level of control since i could always just reach over and
turn it off any time. I wanted total loss of control combined with
helpless submission to an unknown amount of pain.
This was the point where it became a true twisted
obsession even at such a young age. I was addicted to this exact
type of anal pain and nothing else would turn me on. I didn't even
learn to masturbate until after I started playing with electricity and
now I was so jaded I couldn't pleasure myself one bit without it.
Here is the kind of extreme self-bondage scene I was into less than a year
after starting down this path:
I would start by hot-melt gluing a 1 1/2 inch
diameter, 6-inch long dual-contact electrode into my ass so it wouldn't
fall out when I thrashed around. Hot melt glue wont stick to the inside
smooth skin of the rectum but it will stick to the outer butt cheeks. I
didn't have any hair in that region yet but if I did it would have pulled
it off for sure. The burning of the melted glue against my skin was
like an exciting teaser for all the pain about to come. The glue
kept it in there pretty good but not enough to prevent removal so I also
used a harness of metal cable threaded through a hole in the end of the
probe and secured with a lock. The power source was very advanced
now. It had a delayed start timer, measured shock duration timer,
and automatic power level increase timer. It sat 6 feet away from
the bed and locked into a desk drawer. The heavy power cable was
taken from a thick outdoor extension cord and ran out and over to the bed
and around a bed post several times to prevent any pulling from removing
it from the shock source. From there it ran up onto the bed and into
the probe in my ass. It was tied to the metal cable harness very
well to prevent being pulled out of the probe. My feet were tied
spread eagle to the bed posts with just a bit of slack and there was a
restraint pulling one hand over my head using a combination lock and stretching
out fully. I kept the other hand free to masturbate but made sure
there was no way using all of my strength it could ever remove the electrode
or free myself.
The room was pitch dark but there was a light
on a regular wall timer set to turn on just after the session was completed.
Once I closed that combination lock on my hand there was absolutely no
return because I could not see the dial in the dark. Sometimes I hesitated
a second or two but never failed to click that lock shut and seal my fate
for the next hour.
It was an unbelievable feeling just waiting there
in the dark anticipating what was about to happen. Adrenaline pumping in
my veins and my heart beating fast. Counting out the seconds and
listening to the muffled sound of timers ticking away in the drawer wondering
when it would start. Questions dancing in my mind like how long until
the power level built up to pain and exactly how much shock was i going
to get this time when the resistor reached zero and let the full unrestricted
shock flow into my anus? Did I set the timers right and what if the
off switch didn't work this time?
When the shock started it was always just a small
tickle at first but the sexual excitement was undeniable. After about
6 minutes it went from tickle to slight pain and I started to masturbate.
The charge slowly increased and the feeling was pure pleasure so strong
I'd get a ringing in my ears. It was a careful timed sort of masturbation.
If I came too fast then I wouldn't get the full effect of the shock but
if I waited too long the pain would get so high it would halt the pleasure
dead in its tracks. After the orgasm hit me and started to fade, the shock-induced
pleasure that was my friend would turn against me and become all pain without
pleasure. Still, the timer on the resistor ticked down, slowly but monotonously
turning up the voltage bit by bit with the occasional small jump as the
resistor stuck a bit as it rotated. Just a few minutes more and it
hurt so bad I twisted around in bed straining at the restraints in vain.
It was no fun now, why did I do this to myself? ... and it was too late
to ask now.
My mind racing over escape plans but nothing, I was just too thorough for my own good. I couldn't stop it no matter what I did. My whole ass was on fire now, muscles clenching, agony ripping through my rectum. I used a homemade gag (also locked into my mouth with a metal cable) to prevent screaming out loud and would end up panting through my nostrils as fast as possible because of the pain. Still the level of shock increased and now the pain seemed to extend out from my rectum into my whole pelvis. Maybe it took my breath away so much I could not even have screamed without the gag even if I tried because I was truly gasping for air as quickly as possible just to survive. There was no way of knowing how much time was left or if the power was all the way up yet.
How can you even begin to keep track of time when
you are crazed senseless with so much pain. It just went on and on
like that for about 40 more minutes while I cried continuous silent tears
and sometimes convulsed helplessly knowing there was absolutely no escape
from pain until the timer ran out and this was all my own doing.
That was the exact mental feeling I grew addicted
to, being helpless in pain from my own actions and I had perfected a way
of achieving it on my own any time I wanted it. When the shock timer finally
finished ticking down it would turn off the shock and my body collapsed
like a rag doll. Maybe a minute or two later the light timer activated
and lit the room so I could see to undo the lock on my hand. It was
hard to do with the pain still so strong my fingers would be weak and shaking
making mistakes while trying to dial the combination. I would look
down and see my whole body so dripping with sweat that I had soaked an
outline of a myself into the sheet. I was prepared with water in
my room to rehydrate. In a weird way I was proud that I was able
to do this thing to myself like I had achieved something worthy of praise
but also so embarrassing it was impossible to share with any other person.
Sleep never mattered to me, when I got the craving.
Sometimes I would repeat the whole process three times in a single night.
I had this unreachable fantasy of going further and forcing myself to take
it in one big dose until I lost consciousness. I got aroused just
picturing myself laying unconscious on the bed but still jerking around
from the shocks. I never did find a way to reach that point on my
own.
Eventually, I realized this path of increasing
risk and pain was leading to something permanent and bad. My will to survive
is strong, so I quit cold-turkey and pushed it all deep into the back of
my mind. I blend in perfectly now, just another boring vanilla middle
class member of the masses doing everything the same way as everyone else.
Breaking out for just a second to share this once secret story with you.
-voltsjolts
24.04.05