Do Not Open Until

So, this starts off like any other adventure, with me planning all the planned plans. Think Merry Christmas Baby stuck under the tree on Christmas Eve for Santa to find. But, of course, that can’t go as planned. It never does. I had it all planned out, as per usual, but it never goes like I want it to go. Or maybe it does. Hell, I dunno anymore. 

The first thing I did was reach out to Mistress and let her know I was going to do something stupid. 

Me: I’m going to have an epic Christmas adventure

Mistress: Of course you are hun. Lol Ummm … I’m almost afraid to ask, how epic is it going to be?

Me: I’m glad you asked. I am so so excited. The morning of black Friday I order 16 pairs of EMT grade stainless steel shears. When they arrived, I placed a (brand new) luggage padlock around the handles on each one of them, assembly line style, taped them (so they don’t rattle) each into an identical box, meticulously taped it closed (every seam), wrapped them in identical paper (with an identical bow), and placed them under the tree. I used extra tape on the wrapping paper to seal all the edges. I taped the keys for the padlocks in little plastic crafty bottles with twisty lids from the little plastic crafty bottles with twisty lids store, then taped them into boxes and expertly wrapped them like the shears were. I used 16 keys. The locks are keyed in sets of four. So, in theory, there’s a one in four chance for each sets of packages I open. I’ve been moving them around under the tree so I don’t get any ideas about how I think which packages go together. There’s no way to tell until they’re open and I try the keys. I haven’t decided on how to get stuck yet. I’ve narrowed it down to rope, cloth strips, tape, and straps.  

Mistress: Wow. That’s a lot of moving parts. Are you sure this is safe? I mean, as safe as usual anyway. And yes, I know with you, safe is a relative term. Do I need to plan a rescue?

Me: Of course not. I have this planned out. Purrfectly. 

Mistress: Yeah. Of course. Planned out. Purrfectly. As per usual. I’ll be there Christmas morning to pick you up. I’ll be there a little early to help you get out, clean up, and get ready, because we’ve met. 

Me: No really. This time I have it all figured out. Pinky swear. Oh yeah. I just can’t decide on the final four. Will you help me by picking one of them? Please please please please? 

Mistress: Fine. Geezus. Lol Which one have you not done in awhile? You did rope in the tub, and cuffs with straps for the contest. So, it’s between cloth strips and tape

Me: Ummm … I did cloth strips while you were DMing at the event. That was the bag of trash I took downstairs early. I was excited. I overdid it, too many, too terribly tight. And I safetied. It was just too much. I wasn’t able to wait on you. And, I was still upset about the water bondage class. Anyway, that’s when I came downstairs and went to the store for you. I was going to try again later, but I switched to rope. I left you the cheeky note and you found me in the hot tub.

Mistress: So tape it is. And for not telling me about that little mishap before now, double tape.

Me: How, how do I double tape? That makes no sense

Mistress: Alright, look, you little shit. You know what I mean by double tape. Four wraps is eight. Ten wraps is twenty. Bands are a little wider, oh and speaking of fractions, randomly choose half of each pile of mystery boxes. Eight snips and eight keys and place them, ummm … in the trunk of your car. Yesh. Hang your car keys in the garage with an ice in stocking timer. Four or five regular ice cubes. It’s noon now, and I know you have some family stuff to do, so first thing when you get home, hang the keys. Then get started. Let me know when you’re getting close to going dark. And leave the cam uncovered, I might peek in on you. 

Me: -gulp- that doesn’t help my chances of getting out. I have no idea what that does to them. It’s too completely random. No idea at all how fucked I am. Half the keys might work OR none of the might keys work. p.s. what am I going to wear?

Mistress: That’s the idea luv. Randomly telling me about things that I should have known about months ago like it’s nothing gets your purrfectly laid plans randomly changed, randomly. What are you wearing now? (Like I need to ask)

Me: Christmas dress and booties, and maybe a Santa hat. Maybe. 

Mistress:  … and?

Me: Black patterned opaques over a tan sheer, and black footless opaques on top … over a tan sheer with thumbies.  

Mistress: Yeah. I thought so. It’s like we’ve met.

Me: Yesh. It does seem that way.

Mistress: Hose top and bottom, it doesn’t have to be black and tan, you know I prefer you in tan so probably just two on top and two on bottom. Thumbies are okay for now, but just before you finish yourself off, tie a knot in both pair on your hands. That’s two knots, on each hand. And use the fiberglass reinforced strappy tape on your wrists. I don’t want you magically She-Hulking your way out of this. Remember to use double of it too. Ten means twenty. Don’t think I won’t count. I’m showing up early to make sure you follow instructions AND follow through with your plans. I know you hate to safety, but I also know that you occasionally take a shortcut here and there. Not following your own rules results in a penalty. I have your detailed explanation above and I’ll call you on it. You know I will. Make me proud. After family time of course. Have fun sweets. Muah!

Me: Yes Mistress. I will make you proud. -blushes- And I will have fun. Merry Christmas. Muah.

Mistress: Merry Christmas baby.

Holy shit. She just took my “best laid plans” plan and went nuclear with it. Double hose, double tape, and double knotted pantyhose nubs that I’m supposed to be opening gifts with … oh fuck. And trying to open little medicine bottles to get to keys to open tiny padlocks?!? It would be nearly impossible if I could see what I was doing. It increases the difficulty exponentially if I can’t see what I’m doing. I think that may be what she was going for. I fucked up not telling her about what happened at the event sooner, or at all for that matter. I was alone in the hotel room for several hours without letting anyone know where I was or what I was up to. That’s a recipe for disaster in my little weirdo world. I still have to go do family stuff and hopefully my focus won’t be fucked. I did manage to find a text message while I was losing my mind. I need to stop and get milk on the way to grandma’s house. It seems she only has skim milk, which I’ve been told is oxy clean masquerading as milk. For making potatoes for Christmas dinner, I would have to agree. I’ll pick this back up in a few hopefully not too overly stressful hours. 

Quite a few overly stressful hours later. 

How we haven’t killed each other yet is beyond me. So, I stopped by the store on the way there and picked up a half gallon of 2% milk and a half gallon of whole milk, real milk as we called it, and also some extra tape. I found an extra wide roll which I’ll probably use on my arms and maybe on my legs above my knees. Time for another texty barrage. 

Me: I made it home and I’m getting things gathered up to get started. Half of all the boxes are in the trunk, keys are hanging with four ice cubes in the stocking

Mistress: Any casualties? I hope all is well with the family

Me: A few near misses, but everyone survived. It’s going to be pretty difficult, but I’m going to be out when you get here. I believe I can. 

Mistress: Are you trying to push buttons? Is that what you’re trying to do? You wanted this to be very nearly impossible. I’m really beginning to think that you think I want you to be able to get out. I don’t want to take away all hope, but if you keep it up I will. 

Me: You can’t take away ALL my hope. I can get out. I believe that I can

Mistress: Foolish, foolish girl. Under your tree you have three packages from me, a red one, a yellow one, and a green one. You may open the green one

Me: Okies

I hurriedly went for the tree, not even thinking about whether the packages where there earlier or not. I quickly found the small package, about half the size of a shoebox, and tore into it. Inside the box wrapped in green tissue paper was a jumbo roll of black vinyl tape. Sticks magically to itself, but not much else.

Me: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It was on my list.

Mistress: Yes hun, I know. I helped you make that list. And I’m going to let you use it for this adventure. You’re going to make a Gwen hood with it. I take it you know what that is, yesh? Under the Gwen hood is going to be a fully wrapped tape gag. Mouth stuffed. Panties probably, today’s if you were wearing any. Lips together. Wrapped all the way around your pretty little head, double, then a pantyhose hood, finally the vinyl tape Gwen hood. On your neck, but not tight on your neck, you’re smart enough to know that

Me: Are you mad at me? Did I do something to make you mad? You’re making this really hard for me and it makes me think that you’re mad at me. 

Mistress: No mine. I might be a little frustrated with you about the choice for restraints and how it led to you telling me something you’ve been keeping from me. And a little more frustrated when you’re talking shit about overdoing an adventure and not being (mostly) careful like you usually are. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Well, I don’t want you to hurt yourself anyway. Not like this. It’s perfectly okay for you to get hurt if I’m doing it. 

Me: I didn’t mean for it to sound that way and if I’d known it was going to frustrate you I would have told you about it on the ride home. Or sooner. And nothing bad is going to happen to me on this adventure because you’re coming to save me. Yay, a rescue! My herro. In. Heroine. Yeah that thingy.

Mistress: In the morning. I’m coming to get you. In. The. Morning. Dingbat. Do you really think you can be taped up that terribly tight, overnight, on Christmas Eve, and me not be worried about you all night?!? 

Me: I can handle all night. Sure, I’m squishy, AC is rubbish, but I have pretty decent dex, and a ton of hit points. I can do this. I will be okay. I promise.

Mistress: Okay. Fine. Whatever. (Nice D&D reference btw) I’ll be there in the morning. Make sure before you respond you uncover the cam and put your phone on the bendy arm thingy and turn facetime to auto answer. I want to know you’re not d-e-d before I head to bed. I have my key, but don’t put the chain on the door so I can get in. 

Me: Okies. Cam is uncovered and pointed in the general direction of the tree, and the phone is on the other side of the room clipped to the desk. Between the two you should be able to see the whole living room. Is there anything else you would like me to do before I get started? 

Mistress: I think that’s about it. I think. Oh yeah. You should get that. 

Me: Huh? Get what?

The strangest thing happened next. I’m running around the house gathering things for my adventure and double checking my double checking things and suddenly there’s a knock at my door. I slowly crept over to it and whispered “Santa?” the reply was a familiar one. 

“No genius. It’s me. Now let me in its freezing out here.” So, I let her in. The Santa bit made more sense now though. She had literally every present that she still needed to wrap with her. Several large bags and a bag of boxes and bows. I’m not sure how she made it in with all that stuff. “After I wrap most of this stuff the girls are going to come by and pick it up. I have a few hours until they make it over so I’m going to keep an eye on you until I feel like you’re safe enough to abandon for the night. Or, if on the off chance you decide to safety, I’ll be here to help you with that too. And also, to keep an eye on the number times you don’t make this terribly tight enough. That I might actually help with. And before you get any ideas about me participating too much, if you fuck up, I’ll double your fuck up. Four wraps that should have been eight but only got seven, well, I’ll pile sixteen on top of it. But, other than that you’re on your own. Just act like I’m not even here.” And with that she grinned at me, spun on her heels and started piling her packages and wrapping paper and such on my couch.  

So, I acted like she wasn’t there. I went about my preparations just like I normally would and continued to double check everything and started laying out things for my gag and hood combo. “were you wearing panties today? I think I told you to use them.”

“I didn’t. Doubled up on hose today.” I didn’t turn around so I wasn’t able to see the grin on her face when she walked across the room. 

“Here. Use these.” And handed me a pair of panties. Nothing fancy, just a pair of satiny black boy shorts. I had no idea how to respond, so I didn’t

I set them on the counter and pulled my hair up into a pile of half assed top knot bun and put a hair thingy in it. I picked up the panties and started folding them. “are they yours?” I asked curiously

“Would you like them to be? Or does it matter. I could have told you I found them on the ground when I was shopping and they would still be going in your pretty little mouth, wouldn’t they?”

“Yes, they would.” It was all I could say. I did not see that coming. “Mistress?” 

“Yes mine?” she replied 

“Thank you.” It was the last thing I said as I worked the stuffing into my mouth. I had to tease some of it to the sides and into my cheeks. I needed to be able to close my lips around the packing before the tape went on. 

“You’re welcome beautiful” She quietly replied barely looking up from her task

I managed to get my lips together around the panties and pulled the roll of tape out and started with a wrap right over my lips, then one high, and the next one low. I alternated this pattern until the tape covered from the bottom of my nose to just under the edge of my chin, about ten in total. I tore off the strip and picked up a knee-high stocking and pulled it down over my head, walking it down from front to back so I didn’t get any stray hairs in my face. Nothing worse than enjoying a good tie and having it ruined because a random hair ended up tickling your nose, or worse, in your eye. Once the hood was down where I wanted it I pulled the excess into a pile around my top knot and tied it off. I started wrapping the vinyl tape around the tape gag and then used the same pattern, but when I reached the end of my chin I started a diagonal wrap and eventually vertical. Once my entire head was covered, except my eyes, I did the whole thing again, start to finish. The second hood was almost cosmetic, but it served the double portion of the show. Things were about to get a little noisy. It was time to basically walk all over my duplex with a roll of tape in my hand. With it being double tape, I was going to have runs of tape stretched out all over the place. I usually make them across my place the short way but these are going to have to go front to back I think. I should be able to close some ends in the linen closet door and a few in the entry closet. I pulled a strip out and placed it around the door frame of the master bedroom and started walking down the hall to the living room. That run ended up in the kitchen closed in the door to the garage. The next one went down the hall and into the living room. 

“You know, I’ve seen the finished product a few times, but I’ve never seen this part before. It kind of makes sense, but I still don’t understand how you get your lines as clean as you do. You’re just rolling yourself up in tape. Yes, I know it’s more complicated than that, but I guess you’ve done it a few times huh?” She was talking to me and asking questions, more or less, and I was super gagged, and hooded. Now who’s a silly girl? I grabbed my phone and responded via text

Me: I’ve done this more times than I probably can remember, or count. I guess if you fuck something up enough times you’ll eventually give up on it or find a better way to do it. OR, maybe the best way 

With that it was time to show off a little bit. I went in the bedroom and came out with a little stand that had a weighted base and a small adjustable spindle on top. I put the roll of tape on the spindle and adjusted it so it was tight, then mimed backing up to it and wrapping tape off of the roll and on to my wrists. There was a small hook for a pen knife or edge tool to cut the tape. I added this for tape that was a little more robust, like the reinforced strapping tape I’ll be using later. “I am impressed. And I don’t get impressed very often. But I think you nailed it. Thomas Edison style. What was it he said, I did not fail, I just found 10,000 ways to not invent a working light bulb, or something like that.” I nodded.

Me: I probably wasted hundreds of rolls of tape trying to get this right. I still fuck it up now and then, but so much less than I used to. The wrist tool and rolling up in the runs across the house. 

“I bet. It looks like it could be really easy to make a mistake and have to start all over” I just nodded my head knowingly because yes, I’m usually mostly stuck by the time I start spinning up in tape so more often than not, I have to trash everything and start over. I went back to setting up my runs and grabbed the wide roll and made two with it. Then I grabbed the super tape for my wrists and got it situated on the stand for the last step. I sat down on the couch with what was left on roll number one and went through my checklist one last time. Boxes in the trunk, check, keys hanging in the garage, check, gag wrapped, hooded, taped, check, tape everywhere throughout the house, check, final step waiting to be used, check. After I made it through the list, again, I started wrapping tape at my ankles and almost forgot to double it. I did somewhere between ten and twelve wraps on my ankles and moved up to below my knees. Another dozen or so there and then I switched and used the wide roll above my knees and at the tops of my thighs.

Me: Before I go get dizzy, can you think of anything else I might have missed?

“Hmmm … I cannot. So far everything looks good and snug. Oooo, I’m glad you asked me, because I wanted to see this part. Wait, do you get dizzy when you do this? That’s a lot of tape to spin into.”

Me: Sometimes if I go too quickly I do. The trick is to take it slow and keep an even pressure on the tape. If the pressure gets to high or low it will tear the tape. You have to lean away from it, but you have to find the balance in the tension. I can’t use the cheap shit anymore. I have to use duck, or gorilla, or t-rex, or the contractor grade stuff. Its more expensive, but I don’t waste it like I do the other stuff. Anywho, here’s goes nothing. Wish me luck

“Hehe. No. No luck for you. I don’t think you’re getting out of this one baby. If I did I wouldn’t be here.” A vote of confidence it was not. I hopped up, literally, and headed to end of the hall. I started with the wraps above my breasts and slowly and methodically spun my way down the hall wrapping the tape evenly around my arms pinning them tightly to my body. Once I made it into the living room I noticed she was watching me intently, almost studying the process. “I think I’ve figured out something. I want to be as good at something, hell anything, as you are at making yourself completely helpless, and or useless. I mean, I know you’re not done yet, but damn honey.” That was more of a compliment than I was expecting. And it also made me a little more focused and meticulous. Can’t have her bragging on me and then I get careless and fuck something up. I finished that band and hopped back to the starting point and began the wrap below my boobs. After the first wrap I started pushing my elbows together a little bit. I hadn’t tried it before and I wanted to try since I had a safety here. About halfway down the hall things were getting pretty snug. Once I finished with that wrap it was time for my wrists. 

I hopped over to the stand and backed up to it. I almost forgot about tying the knots in the hose on my hands, but remembered right before I started and fucked up. The tape on my arms was pretty snug and I wasn’t getting any excess slack to pull the hose down passed my hands and try to tie a knot in them. I tried for at least ten minutes to try and get them knotted, but it was no use. I was going to have to find a way to get out and start over. At least my arms anyway. “Do you need some assistance? I’ve been watching you work on that and if there was a way to do it, you would have figured it out by now. There’s just not enough slack for you to be able to pull them down far enough to knot them. I’ll knot them for you, with no penalty. Is that okay?” I shook my head and she just grinned and got up off the couch and came over and knelt down next to me. She tugged on the hose and they didn’t move much. She tried to reach up under some of the tape job I already had done and made a little progress, just enough that she could pull the hose beyond my fingertips and get a knot in them. She managed to get a knot in both pair, on each hand. It took her a few moments to get it done. “there you go. Your useless nubs are even more uselesser. Now hurry up, I wanna see the rest.” She patted me on my ass and I hopped back over to the stand and grabbed the end of the roll of tape between my wrists and began wrapping it around and around. The tape went on evenly and the band was perfect. I lost count on how many wraps so I kept wrapping until I thought I had enough to be safe. Once I got to that point I drug the edge of the tape across the cutter and then smoothed the edge down against the roll. Very satisfied I hopped down the hall for the last run of tape. I lined up the wide strip of tape right on top of the super tape wraps around my wrists and started twisting my way down the hall. The tape was wider than I was used to and it kept getting a little low and more on my wrists and hands than just above them and on my forearms. I really had to focus on the last half of the run to keep the tape up a little higher. I finished the last wrap and heard “Ta Da!” from the couch. “I figured I would say it for you because I know without the gag you would have said it. I am impressed. And I still think I’m not wrong. Enjoy how totally fucked you are for a little while before you try opening Christmas presents with something other than your useless nubs.” She was right. There was basically no chance that I would be able to unwrap a package with my hands as stuck as they were, much less be able to pick up a key. “The girls are going to be by in about an hour. Do you want to be out here when they get here or do you want to try and hide? Ooooo … I have an idea. You go hide, and I’ll tell them to find you. And yes, they’ve seen you stuck before.” I wasn’t sure what to think about that. I hadn’t seen them in over a year and wasn’t sure this was how I wanted our first reconnecty exchange to go. At least earlier I could text. Now, I can nod my head and answer basic yes or no questions. But that was the extent of it. 

Wow. I can count on a shop teacher’s hand the number of times I had been this stuck. I was literally as fucked as she said I would be. I wonder if I can stay like this until morning … Now I really want to try, but I don’t think she is going to let me. I was doing my usual hop around and check all the spots I could have done a better job getting things nice and super tight. There wasn’t anything that I could have improved on, except planning better for getting my hands knotted before I started working on wrists. The knots she tied in the hose were really short. She took my hands in hers and made fists with them with my fingers wrapped around my thumbs, then tied them off, both of them. When I tried to extend my fingers to get a little more room the tape I added after they were knotted prevented it. The same problem I had when I tried the knot them in the first place but with much less room and zero excess to work with.  

“You’re not getting out of that on your own. You’ve figured that out by now, haven’t you?” She was standing in the living room over her pile of packages with her arms crossed staring down the hall at me. I was kind of pacing, I guess. But hopping. “Or do you still think you’re getting out?!?” I stared back at her and shook my head yes. Then I turned and shook my ass at her. She laughed. “Adorable. Not too bright, but adorable. Are you gonna be out here with the girls get here or are you going to make them come and find you? I think you should hide. I’ll tell them not to tickle you, much. But they’re on a timeline so they can’t fuck around with you too long.” I shrugged my shoulders. Okay, I tried to shrug my shoulders. The tape did a good job of making that impossible. “See. Can’t even do that. You might as well come sit under the tree. Actually, let me see if I have a “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL X-MAS” sticker in my bag. I think I might.” I giggled. She did not. Then she actually started looking in her bags for something. “I knew it. I DO have one.” I’ve seen that evil grin before “Come here baby. I have something for you.” I started shaking my head no and slowly hopping backwards. I knew I was going to run out of hallway soon and with the bedroom and bathroom doors closed I had nowhere to go. I got to the end too soon. “Actually, I think I need to make a little change to it first. BRB love. Don’t go anywhere.” And she skipped away. A few scissor snips later and she skipped back. Slightly more ominous than before. “Just a few seconds pretty. I promise you won’t feel a thing.” NOT helping. I wiggled my way into corner and stared at the floor. She wins. She patted me on my head “There you go. Like I said, you didn’t feel a thing, did you?” she put her hands on either side of my head and kissed my forehead, well, the taped up hood part where my forehead used to be. I shook my head no. Other than her hand on my head, I didn’t feel anything. Wheird.  She pulled out her phone and checked her messages and stared intently at one for a few seconds. “okay, that was Jazzy and Jenny. You have about five minutes to decide whether or not you want hide, and get attacked, or meet them at the front door and just get it over with. I told them no more than ten minutes of torture. Oh, and I asked which they would make worse on you, hiding or meeting your fate head on.” My eyes were the size of dinner plates. She was letting the girls loose on me. Ten free minutes of two on one hell and I had zero chance of running or defending myself. “they said if you knew what was good for you under the tree might be safest. At least there they would be in the Christmas spirit. You know, probably.” The doors were closed and I had no hands. Outside was out of the question, it was frigid, and I couldn’t open the door to get out there anyway. Closet in the master bedroom had a handle on it instead of a knob. The only one. I broke the knob being stupid and it was all the landlord had to replace it. I could hide in there but I needed to trick my way into the bedroom first. “You look like you’re thinking. What are you thinking? Plotting probably. I have an idea. Come with me.” She placed her arm around the small of my back and sort of pushed/guided me towards the hallway. Then she pounced. With one quick spin move I was laying in her lap right next to the tree. “there, that wasn’t so difficult. I think they mentioned under the tree because I told them how stuck you were and how there was no chance you were going to be able to get away or even fight back. At least this way you don’t have to worry about falling. You’re already on the floor. And as far as I know not even you’ve figured out a way to fall off the floor.” I was shaking my head and attempting to protest but I was being rocked like a big taped up baby doll. In between giggles anyway. “Oh, come on, you big baby, they’ll be gentle, probably. I don’t even think they’re bringing the toy bags. At least the fun ones anyway. Best case, you get off a few times. Worst case, they brought the violet wand. Pantyhose and tape aren’t conductive, are they?” she feigned ignorance. She knew damn well the wand would light me up. And I’ve been taped up for a couple of hours now and I might be a little sweaty. In places. That are also, conductive. God dammit. 

The girls didn’t even knock. They just walked right in. “Look what I found for you!”

“Aunt Tonya!!” they shouted in unison. And then they pounced. And I was wrong. About the odds. They were about 50% worse than I thought they would be. I was still being rocked like a baby when they barged in. So, it was three on one. And I lost. “We’ve missed you so much.” Yeah, I can tell. Tickling, fondling, smacking my ass, they got their shots in “oh wait, did you set a timer? Because I thought we had a time limit.” The giggling in unison led me to believe that this was planned. “Hang on I’ll set one. Ten minutes, right?” The others gleefully agreed. What the shit?!? They got here ten minutes ago. I protested as much as I could but it only made things worse. They got their time in and hopefully I was only going to be a little sore. Finally, they just giggled and weren’t torturing me in the process. Giga spoke up in between mild attempts to needle my hip bones. “Okay, you’ve had your fun. Now start loading up and I’ll try to get finished up here.” The girls got up and gave my more than somewhat tender ass as parting shot each. “so, are you ready to be out?” I rolled over facing her and just looked her in the eye. “Wait, you still think you can get out, don’t you?” I nodded my head. You still think you can, after not even being able to turn a door knob, turn on a light, or do anything else for that matter.” I nodded my head defiantly. Twice and stared at her. “Oh. Okay. I can help with that. I’ll make you a deal. The deal is I’m not going to let you out, yet.”

“Are we taking these too?” Jenny asked as she started gathering my release packages. I started to protest, shaking my head no and banging the floor with my feets. Giga didn’t even look down at me. She just reached her hand over and gently pinched my nose, cutting off my air. She’d never done that before. I didn’t know what to do so I just froze. 

“Yes hun. Take those. Put them in one of my big bags and keep them separate. Should be eight big ones and eight little ones. Oh, and get her keys, they’re hanging in the garage, and get the ones out of her trunk too. And other eight and eight in the trunk. Make sure you get them all.”

“Is she coming with us?” Jenny asked curiously.

“I haven’t decided yet.” Giga let go of my nose and I sucked in all the air I could through my now free nostrils. Lips together and under layers, and I do mean layers of tape, hose, and double tape hoody goodness remember. No air getting in that way. While I was trying to catch my breath, Giga had thrown a leg over me and was now right on top of me. She rolled me the rest of the way over onto my back and leaned down and was nose to nose with me. “I have two choices. Choice number one. I can leave you here. Like this. Unable to do anything for yourself. Completely helpless. I seriously doubt you could even stand back up on your own. Completely fucked here by yourself on Christmas Eve? OR choice two. I can make you come with us. And you can be completely fucked with us on Christmas Eve. The whole family is there, and I’m sure the greeting you received from the girls is just the beginning. And just so you know, the toys are at the house. And I’m sure someone will get them out. Probably even before I give them the idea. And I WILL give it to them if they don’t figure out that you have zero say in the matter. I might stop them, when I think you’ve had enough but with where your head is at my dear you clearly don’t know when enough is enough. So, choice one or two. What to do? What to do?” I started trying to plead my case to be left here. I’ve been okay this long. I can last until morning. I know I can. I still have feeling in my fingers and toes. Which is rare this far into an adventure, but I’ll take it. I can last the night. I know I can. “You know, it sounds like you want to help me make this decision.” I nodded my head. “and it sounds like you want to take the first choice.” I nodded again. “but you don’t get a choice.” She pinched my nose again “but I’ll take any advice you have into consideration. Which one was it you wanted?” Giga let go of my nose and I began pleading for choice one again. Just as I almost caught my breath she again grabbed my nose, tighter and with more intent this time “I don’t know pretty. Do you have any other advice? Perhaps in regards to the other choice?” She let go and I tried to breathe. Again, pleading for choice one. Just I had half as much time as before to catch my breath before she did it again. “I know you’re slow hun, but for fuck’s sake.” This time she held it twice as long. Less time to catch my breath and more time without air. But I didn’t want to give in. I’m stubborn that way. I get it from her I guess. We went back and forth for another five minutes before she asked again. “So, tell me, that advice. Has it gotten any better?” I glared at her, thankful for the full minute to catch my breath. I looked her in the eye and didn’t respond. “I think your brain has shorted out. It clearly isn’t working.” She hopped up and wondered off into the kitchen. The girls came back in while she was away. 

“Is there anything else?” Jazzy asked.

“Just one more thing. Gimme a sec and I’ll help you with it” she came back with a pair of kitchen shears and climbed back on top of me. “Sooo … I think you did this to me once. Sorta. A hundred years ago.” I saw the shears but I didn’t see the roll of saran wrap. She quickly wrapped it twice around my face and then hopped up off me. I just laid there defiantly and she started talking to the girls. I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“HOLY FUCK!! Are you trying to kill her?!?” Jenny inquired, and I heard that. 

“Oh no. Just trying to jumpstart her brain.” I did not hear that. But I did hear my heart rate increase and start to try to climb out of my chest. I exhaled and fogged up the wrap over my face. When the fog cleared she was there, nose to nose again. “I’m not asking this time. You’re going with us. God dammit, I love you and want to know that you’re going to be okay. I know it’s hard being away from your family, but you have to understand that we’re family too. And like it or not we care about you. This uber self-destructive bullshit you’ve been pulling lately is killing me. And yes, I do realize I’m lecturing you about how much I love you and how much I care and how much I need to know you’re safe while you’re completely helpless and I’m sitting on top of you with cling wrap covering your face, and currently, you cannot breathe. I tried to help with this one, I really did. But you didn’t want my help. You wanted a spotter while you dove face first, off a cliff. And fuck you for that. I’m not going to let you do that. You’re coming with us. Jazzy is backing your car into the garage and they’re going to help you into your back seat.” She started peeling off the wrap, her point made as well as her choice. We stared at each other for a moment and then the door to the garage opened. I was helped up and a long coat about three sizes too big was draped around me and buttoned. A scarf wrapped around my head and my Santa hat pulled down almost over my eyes. 

“Let them help you. You don’t have to do this all by yourself.”  The girls each took a side and helped me sorta hop towards the car. The back door was already open and Jazzy ran around to the other side to help me scoot into the seat amongst a pile of presents. “It’s kind of fitting you’re sitting here all wrapped up in a pile of packages. This has been on your head since right after you finished yourself off.” She leaned over and buckled my seat belt and pulled her phone out and held it up for me to see. It looked like a selfie, but it was me. I was wearing my hood and everything was all taped up nice and tight, but on my forehead, there was a sticker. Just like the one she threatened to put on me, except this one had the X-MAS cut out of it but the bottom of the letters were still there. In the pic it read DO NOT OPEN UNTIL .. ... ..  “You were okay with being left overnight, and maybe even longer. X-MAS made sense because you only had to wait until tomorrow, or maybe just until after midnight tonight. I’m not through with you yet hun.” I just tilted my head. I had no response. “Hmm. You’re quiet. You’re never quiet. I kind of like you like this. Honestly, I dunno when I’m going to let you out.” My eyes got huge again. She just grinned that evil little grin. Giga leaned in, parted the layers covering my face, kissed, and then licked my nose. “Merry Christmas baby.”