Crystal City

Crystal City 

8:00-9:00PM 

Just a little about me to start things off, my name is Jeremy, I’m 26 and I grew up on a dairy farm in Nebraska. In 2005 I graduated with Masters Degree in Engineering from Purdue University. My first paying job after college was for a very large Aerospace Company. In November of 2005 my company sent me to Crystal City for a 180-day assignment. Crystal City is corporate city, everything is owned by a private company, and is across the Potomac River from Washington DC in Virginia. The city is built around a Washington DC Metro train station. The Washington Metro is the main mass transit rail system for all of Washington DC. Immediately around the Metro station is a cluster of a dozen or so a 20-30-story apartment buildings and enormous office buildings populated by companies that do business with the US Government. 

My particular form of kink with self-bondage is the excitement of seeing how close I can get to being caught without actually getting caught. This actually means that I have to put myself in situations where I could be caught. One of my biggest thrills is to have people see me but not notice that I’m tied up. 

All of the buildings and the Crystal City Metro are connected by a series of underground corridors. Within those tunnels is a small city, called, not surprisingly “The Underground”. The Underground has restaurants, a grocery store, barbershops and other stores. During weekdays employees of the company’s occupying the outer ring of building arrive via the Metro and use the Underground to get to their offices. After working hours the Underground is almost a ghost town, all of the restaurants, bistros and stores close at 6PM. Most of the traffic after the 6PM is the local apartment dwellers accessing the Metro Station. 

Because I was on a long term assignment and he Washington DC, Crystal City area is a very expensive place to rent hotel room the company put me up in a one bedroom furnished apartment in one of the large apartment buildings in the Crystal City complex. It was great, in the morning I could walk out of my 10th floor apartment go down the elevator out into the Underground corridors and come up in my office building. I could also go from my apartment to almost anywhere in DC without ever going outside using the Metro. 

Purely by accident one afternoon after work I found that I forgotten to bring my access card to enter my apartment building from the Underground when I had gone to work that morning. This access card allows you into the building from the outside, access the parking garage, swimming pool and all of the other apartment building common areas. It looks like an ordinary blank credit card, you wave it in front of the scanner at the door, the door buzzes and it unlocks. Building renters apparently forget this card a lot, as I did, because just outside the apartment access door there was a speakerphone speed dial button with a sign that read “Press for Access 24/7” That day I pressed it and it digitally dialed within a ring or two it connected me with a security attendant. I told the attendant I had left my cardkey in my apartment, the attendant asked me my name, apartment number, and the name of my favorite pet. They also asked me if I had the key to my apartment, I said yes. Within 10 seconds a buzzer went off and the access door unlocked. I opened the door and rode the elevator up to my 10th floor apartment. No fuss, by accident I did the same thing some weeks at 2AM coming home from a trip home and the exact same thing happened. I thought there was a way to use this in self-bondage scene but I hadn’t figured it out yet. 

The following events take place between 8 and 9 PM. Just before Christmas on a Friday night I had a number of friends from work over to watch a basketball game, the game was a rout so the game ended just after 8PM, without all the drama of timeouts pervading the end of most basketball games. This was a regular Friday night things with some of my co-workers. Most of my friends were DC area residents and lived outside the capital beltway, I was a transient and my apartment was close so it was convenient. During the game my friends and stuffed ourselves with pizza and gotten very drunk and very high. I had continued after my friends had left. This is when I got a self-bondage idea centering on “accidentally” forgetting my access card. 

Just across the doorway to my apartment building from the Underground corridor is a branch of the Navy Credit Union with an ATM in the wall of the corridor. This corridor was not well traveled after working hours. The office buildings were closed so it was generally just people returning to their apartments from the Metro from other parts of DC. The idea was to leave my apartment unlocked, handcuff myself, and ride the apartment elevator down to the Underground and check my account balance at the Credit Union ATM. The thrill part was to leave my apartment access card key in my apartment so I would have to use the 24/7 security call button at the access door to have them buzz me in, all the while standing in a very well lit Underground corridor. 

Since I wasn’t going outside, I didn’t need a jacket so I left my grey sweatshirt and some faded blue bib overalls on that I had been wearing. I took my ATM card out of my wallet and slipped it into my back pocket, I didn’t need my wallet so I left it and made sure my apartment door was unlocked and was just about ready to put on my handcuffs when I decided to wear my leg cuffs as well. 

My hand and leg cuffs both took the same key so I put one key in each of my back pockets. Then I put on the leg cuffs over a pair of high ankle hiking boots I had gotten during a stint in Army ROTC in college. I double locked the leg cuffs. Once I dropped my pants leg down over my shoes, if I was standing with my feet together, even a very observant person could only see a bit of chain on the floor between my legs. No one could see the leg cuffs at all. Then I put on my hinge handcuffs with my palms inward and the keyholes were facing down, towards my fingers. I evened up the hasps tight enough so that I could get my index finger between the cuffs and the inside of each of my wrists. Then I rotated my hands so that my palms were facing outwards, then I tightened down the cuffs 3 more notches on each. Finally double locking them with a fork. This seems tight, it is hard to rotate your wrists, but it’s actually more comfortable and gives you that secure feeling. With the cuffs on like this when I’m ready get free, I have to rotate one wrist in the cuffs so my palm faces inward then I can unlock myself, this hurts for a second but I only have do it once on one wrist. I usually use soap to help the rotation. 

I was ready for the first part of the plan, I opened the apartment door and checked both ways to ensure no one was coming, patted my back pocket to verify I had the cuff keys then took off down the hallway to the elevators to the 10th floor elevator waiting area. When I got to the waiting area I pressed the down button then I sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting area, a car came almost immediately. I let the door open, then close then waited a couple of minutes, and watched the elevator location lights 1 of the 4 elevators was moving so some one was using the elevators. I decided to go back to my apartment and wait then try again. I sloshed about a 1/2 of a cup of Jack Daniels into a glass and drank it then chased it with a beer, soda straws are wonderful things when your wearing handcuffs. I sat down on the couch still wearing the handcuffs and shackles and watched TV for about 20 minutes then decided to try again if it didn’t work this time I was going to pack in the idea. 

When I get drunk, I lose my inhibitions, but things I wouldn’t do normally, I will do when I reach a certain level of drunkenness. This was one of those times; I decided it would be even more exciting to leave the keys to the cuffs in the apartment while I went down there. I set them on the coffee table then left. This time the ride down to the Underground level was uneventful with no one about. At the level the elevator opens into a small room with the glass access door to the Underground and several doors leading to resident underground parking. From the elevator I could see through the door across the corridor into the corridor and saw that no one was coming in so I stepped out of the elevator. Then turned around and watched the elevator, the doors closed but the elevator location lights showed that it wasn’t moving, in fact the lights turned off indicating no one was calling for the car. The coast was clear for stage 2, operation ATM. 

I opened the Underground access door and checked both ways for anyone in the corridor. I didn’t see anyone so I slipped through the door allowed it to close and lock with what seemed like a very large click. Now, I was now locked out of my apartment building. This corridor I was in was one that led from the outer ring of buildings to the Underground Café area, at this time of the evening it wasn’t used much but it did get some ATM traffic. The Navy Federal Credit Union was just kitty-corner across and up the hallway about 25 ft. I hurried over to the ATM machine and laboriously slid my ATM card in and typed in my PIN. Being buzzed and cuffed it took forever to get card in and the keys punched. I finally got my account balance printed out. I took the print out looked at it, verified from the balance that I had gotten paid again and tossed it in the trash. Then I started back for the access door. 

While walking back I heard then saw someone coming up the corridor towards me. From a distance I could tell the person coming up from the hallway was a security rent-a-cop. The Underground has uses a security company called Capital Properties Security (CSP). There guards patrol the Underground corridors area after hours. I had seen them before; they were the-observe-and-report type of security no guns or handcuffs. They were far away down the corridor that I knew whoever it was couldn’t see the handcuffs, but I also knew that there was no way I would get into the building fast enough. For me this is the exciting part and not having the keys definitely increased the thrill level to intoxicating levels. Coolly, I leaned against the wall next to the ATM machine and put my feet together and slid them out a bit and slouched. Then looked at the floor and completed the “I’m lost in thought look”. 

In my escapades when a person gets close enough for eye contact I usually smile and say Hi. Most people just mumble Hi, look elsewhere and keep on going. That was the plan. this time I was done in by because the ATM chose the moment when the woman had almost reached my location to start beeping loudly. I had left my ATM card in the machine. There was no way I was going back to get it, so it just beeped insanely loudly for about 15 seconds, then ate my card. 

The security guard was a black lady maybe 30 yrs old a little overweight. She was wearing a uniform, consisting of black pants and white shirt and had one of those big belts with a flashlight radio and a couple of cell phones hanging from it, no guns or handcuffs. She stopped in the middle of the hallway in front of me and said “Sir, didn’t you hear that, you just lost your ATM card” 

I said, “Oh crap!”, then I said “I was trying to figure out what I was doing next and just didn’t hear it”. This was absolutely true though, I was sure she had no idea what I was thinking about. I smiled at her. 

She laughed and said, “you must really be thinking hard to have missed that racket”. 

I smiled back at her and said, “Yeah, I was, sorry” 

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her continue walking down the corridor in the direction she came to an outside access door about 20 ft from the ATM. She straightened the mat in front of it with her foot then looked at me and said in a mock southern accent, “Did you lose your tractor farm boy?” 

I looked up her and said, “Pardon” and I noticed her nametag said Snowden. 

She said, “Your overalls, I don’t see those very often around here, they look good on you” 

I smiled are her and said best farm drawl, “Why thank you Ma’am I’m from Nebraska, these is my best Sunday school clothes”. 

She laughed and as she started walking away but said in a bad southern accent, “Be careful farm boy or I’ll come back and take those off you”. 

I snorted at her “Hah!” 

She laughed gave me a big smile and continued down the corridor. 

She went out of sight around a corner. I heaved a sigh of relief at surviving that one. It was definitely time to bug out. I hurried back to the access door and used my shoulder to press the call button. as expected the digital dialing was immediate when I pressed the call button. 

There was a click and I immediately got a recorded message 

“Sorry we are away from the phone now, we’ll be back shortly. If this is a real emergency hang up and dial 911. If you’ve forgotten your apartment access card call the Capital Properties Security office at XXX-XXX-XXXX. There was a phone dial tone, several clicks then silence. 

Part 2

Crystal City 

9:00-10:00PM 


The following events take place between 9PM and 10PM. 

I checked all my pockets praying that I had left a handcuff key in one of them but they were quite empty. Then I tried to pull the cuffs off, not much luck there. I’m one of those people with short arms and a long torso, I’ve never been one of those people you see on Youtube moving their hands from back to front while standing, so my hands were in back and were going to stay there. I was truly screwed. 

After a minute of so I calmed down and started to think. Building security was 24/7 so they must be at lunch or something similar. All I needed to do was wait and keep calling until they answered. The corridor was not well traveled at this time of the evening, but it did get used. I couldn’t remain where I was for long. I needed to get out of the corridor and find a place to wait, but I couldn’t go far because I needed to be able to use the call button and get in as soon as possible. There was an outside door but it was December and the temperature outside was below freezing. 

Then I noticed a bunch of chairs in front of a hairdressers shop out front for customers to sit while they waited further down the hallway. I could sit there, so I shuffled my way to the chairs and sat down in one of the chairs. I slouched down in the chair then crossed my legs put them up on another chair. In the next few minutes some people went by and actually went into my apartment building but they didn’t even glance at me. I pretended I was snoozing but I was still too keyed up to really fall asleep. Every few minutes when no one was around I would trek back to the apartment door and try the call button, I kept getting the same message. It was working now if I could only get the phone to answer this would be over. 

Amazingly enough I actually did dose, I think it was the booze. I started when I heard, “your still here”; it was the female security guard I had talked with earlier smiling at me. 

After I got my wits recovered and without moving I answered, “Yes, I locked myself out of my apartment building and all I get when I call security is a message, so I’m sitting here waiting”. 

She said, “Is that what was happening when I saw you earlier, you’ve been waiting that long?” 

I smiled and said, “Yeah, it sucks, I’m tired and buzzed and I want to go to bed, do you know what time it is? ” 

She smiled and responded “9:20, do you know anyone in the building you could call.” 

I said no, “I had only moved here a month ago and hadn’t really met anyone in the building”. 

She said “Oh, you new in the DC area” 

I said yes, and explained how my company had put me up here. 

The conversation went on for a couple of minutes then she finally said she had to continue her rounds and wished me luck getting in. 

She continued on to the outside doors and locked them. I thought she was going to continue on her way, when she stopped turned around and came back to me and said. “Lets get you home, my access key opens your apartment building, let me have your name, Ill radio it to our office and they can verify you on their list and then I can let you in” 

She was obviously trying to be nice, so I told her my name and apartment number. I figured I was pretty well screwed but she would let me into the apartment building I would only have a few minutes of embarrassment. I didn’t have a better option. 

Denise used her cell phone to PTT my information to her supervisor at her office. The supervisor radioed back that it would take a few minutes” Then we chatted a little bit. We hit it off pretty well, that’s how I found out her name was Denise. After a few minutes her cell phone rang, she answered it, listened for a few seconds then turned back to me. “It’s my husband”. 

I said; “OK” She turned away from me and walked down the hallway. 

I hadn’t checked the phone in quite a while, I knew she was going to see the cuffs soon anyway so I thought I might as well check the phone and maybe I would get lucky and get this over with. So I struggled out of the chair and walked away from Denise, who was still on the phone talking to her husband, and turned away from me. 

I got to the phone button and pressed it, of course I got the same message. I looked down the hallway and saw Denise looking at me. She had gotten off the phone and was moving quickly towards me. 

When she got to me she asked, “Why are you handcuffed”? 

I told her what had happened. 

She nodded and said, “So you put them on yourself? and you can't get them off?” 

I nodded, “Yes” 

She said OK, this is pretty strange; I need to call this in, lets go back and sit down while we figure this out.” 

Denise gripped my arm and escorted me back to where I had been sitting earlier and said, “OK sit down there and wait while I make a call.” 

She walked a little way up the hallway and got out the phone and while watching me dialed and started to talk quietly. I couldn’t hear what was being said. 

After a few minutes while still holding the phone open, she asked, “what were you doing at the ATM earlier this evening?” 

I told her. “I was getting my account balance”. 

Then she said, “ Do you have the keys to your apartment and some form of ID”. 

I told her “No, my wallet, keys and cell phone are all up in my apartment” 

Two more CSP security guards showed up. Denise glanced over at the two security guards, and said, “Watch him”. 

Denise walked down the corridor and pulled out her cell phone. I saw her gesturing with her hands and listening. I saw her stop and push the security call button at my apartment. Then she came back up the hallway with the phone still out and asked me,” Do you know your drivers license number” 

I told her I had a Nebraska license and my license number. While I was talking she relayed the information through the phone, then she went back down the hallway. 

Finally after several minutes she came back to me and said. “OK here is where we are. We are checking the information you provided. We checked the apartment resident list and apartment 1007 is not rented to anyone by your name. We checked further and as far as we can tell you are not a resident of Crystal City. Based on what told me earlier I’m not surprised, our list is several weeks old. I’ve given your information to my supervisor and he is working with the Arlington Police and he expects to have more information soon. My supervisor has told me to search you then escort you to our office while this get sorted. 

I pulled my hands around to my sides and indicated the handcuffs, “OK that’s fine but can you take these off, they are getting tight” They weren’t, they were actually just fine but I was worried about where this was going now. 

She said, “I’m sorry Mr. Witting, we can't, we don’t have keys and my supervisor told me to make sure you stayed cuffed until this gets cleared up”. 

The two male security guards frisked me. They had found nothing. 

Denise called her supervisor and told him that they had found nothing. They talked for a couple of more minutes and then she said, “Let go to the office”. 

Then my entourage and I started down the corridor in the direction of the CSP Security Office. I felt like a movie star, I had 3 security guards around me and all kinds of people stared at me. 

We got to the main concourse in the Underground and proceeded to an unmarked door between a Sbarro and a fruit smoothie vending bistro. Denise typed in a code on the keypad next to the door, the door unlocked and we went through the door and down a long narrow hallway. It opened up into a room with a break area, rest rooms and an office. She brought me into the office. 

In the office was a middle-aged man, sitting at the desk. He was talking on the phone, when we entered the room; he glanced up then placed his hand over the phone receiver, and said. Denise would you take Mr. Witting in the interview room?” 

Denise led me down the corridor and she opened a door and indicated I should go in. It was a small room with a table and chairs. I went in and sat down on one of the chairs. Denise closed the door, leaving me alone in the room. 

A few minutes later the middle-aged man in the office came in and sat down and set a folder on the table in front of him and said, “I’m Fred Silva, I’m the supervisor of Underground Security, you’ve made this an interesting night. We’ve completed our investigation and its good news for you but I have to go over a few things with you then we’ll get you on your way. 

I was starting to feel better and said “Hello Mr. Silva good to meet you”. 

Mr. Silva said, “I want to emphasize that you’re not under arrest, you’ve done nothing illegal, so you’re free to go at anytime you want.” 

I said “Yes, I do”. 

He pulled a piece of paper, and then went on. “This is basically an agreement not to sue. You’ve done nothing illegal, and this is a formal apology from Capital Properties Security for illegally detaining and searching you this evening. If you sign this agreement Capital Properties will give you $100 cash as compensation for your time and inconvenience. Do you understand and will you sign? 

Mentally, I heaved a giant sigh of relief. I just wanted to get my handcuffs off and get out of here as quickly as could and forget this whole affair, so I said, “Yes, I understand, Ill be happy to sign, just as soon as I get these cuffs off.” 

Mr. Silva said, “Don’t worry about it, we are working on that now for you. While we wait I’d like to continue, we will be recording this, as best you can put an X on the signature line then state in your own words that you are agreeing to this.” 


After a great deal of awkwardness and Mr. Silva’s help putting the paper under my pen I actually managed a halfway decent signature. 

He placed a digital voice recorder on the desk and pushed the ON button. 

He said “Mr. Witting has agreed not to sue CPS for illegal detainment and has freely signed the waiver. Mr. Witting please confirm your agreement by saying, Yes, I agree not to sue CSP and have signed the agreement willingly”. 

I said the words he had asked for into the recorder. 

When it was complete he turned off the recorder and dropped it in his desk. 

He took the paper back and slid it back it into the folder and said, “I’ll get a copy of that waiver for your records before you leave. 

Mr. Silva said “OK, next subject is the police report.. When we first got the call on you we called the Arlington Police Department (APD), they opened an investigation. Since one was opened your entitled to a copy of it. During this investigation they accessed your confidential records; essentially they accessed your Nebraska driver’s license and determined that you were who you said you were and that you had no arrests or outstanding warrants. The report says you did nothing against the law so they closed the report. Please read the report, you can’t change it, but if have any problems, I’ll note them in my log. 

He pushed across another piece of paper across the table to me, it was a FAX from the APD, obviously a police report. 

9:23PM <date> Received report of suspicious person in the Crystal City Underground in the vicinity of the Navy Federal Credit Union. CPS personnel reported male Caucasian aged approximately 25 yrs, wearing handcuffs and leg shackles. Questioning by CPS personnel determined that the subject had placed himself in the restraints and was unable to free himself. Subject was searched and had no contraband or ID. 

Investigation by APD, determined. 
(1) Subject’s ID was confirmed as Jeremy Michel Witting by state drivers license number, home residence, and physical description. 
(2) A search of law enforcement databases yielded no outstanding warrants, and no arrest reports. 
(3) Subject confirmed that he had placed the restraints himself and was in the Crystal City Underground voluntarily. 
(4) Subject stated that he lived in the Crystal Square Apartments; this information could not be confirmed. 
(5) Subject was searched, the keys to the restraints were not found. 

Final Determination: Subject voluntarily restrained himself with his own restraints, no further investigation recommended. 

Report closed 

I actually heaved a sigh of relief and said, “It looks OK to me”. 

Mr. Silva nodded and said, “OK, I’ll be back, I’m going to make some copies for you. 

Mr. Silva left, I waited then Denise poked her head in and said. “How’s it going?” I turned showed her that I was still hooked up” 

She said ”Oh!, sorry, not well I guess” . 

I said “its going OK” and I told her about the interview and that I wasn’t under arrest 

She said “Great, that’s good to hear, those bibs look way too cute on you for lockup at APD anyway. 

She said, “I’m really sorry you looked suspicious at the ATM machine the first time I saw you. You seemed nice but I really thought you had escaped from somewhere and were looking for somewhere to hide” 

I said, “It wasn’t your fault it must have looked pretty suspicious. Things didn’t work out like I had planned. I was going to bring the keys, but I decided not to at the last minute.” Besides Ill be out of these in a few minutes I had no way to do that anyway. 

That broke the ice and she and I really hit it off. We made small talk about ourselves. I told her my background. She told me hers, Denise was 30, studying at a community college for her accounting degree and working for CPS at night. She was single mother, with a 3 yr old boy. By the time we were done she was calling me Jeremy. 

I don’t know where Mr. Silva had gotten himself off to it seemed like Denise and I had talked for a long time. We heard footsteps coming back down the hallway and Denise whispered, “he’s coming, I gotta go, she smiled and left quickly.” 

Mr. Silva came into the room and placed two envelopes on the table in front of me and said, “One envelope contains copies of the investigation report and the agreement”. The other envelope contains $100 cash in twenties”. 

Then his mannerism changed and his voice got very soft and menacing, “Now, this is off the record. You haven’t broken any laws but your actions tonight are to say the least unusual. I called the front desk at your apartment and they don’t know who you are either. I don’t know what you’re up to and I don’t care. I want you off the premises as soon as you leave here. If I see you again in the Underground it better be for a legitimate reason otherwise the next interview won’t go so well. Do you understand me? 

I started to say “But !!! 

He shouted, “Mr. Witting, I don’t want to hear anything from you but Yes, I understand”. 

Seeing he was clearly angry, I said, “Yes I understand”. 

He calmed down and said, “OK, we’re done, you’re free to go”. 

I decided to be very polite and said, “Thank you so much and I’m very sorry about all the trouble, can you get someone to free me and I’ll get out of your sight?”    

He went on, “That’s a problem, I checked with my personnel and no one has a key that will fit those cuffs”. 

I interrupted, Well, I can’t leave like this, what about the police? can’t they unlock them? 

He shrugged and said, “Yes they can, APD can remove them but you’ll have to go to the station, they only respond for emergency calls. Since those are yours and you put them on yourself, it isn’t an emergency.” 

Then he went on, “The amusing part of this is, if we found the keys on you when we searched, APD would have arrested you for carrying a concealed key. Since you didn’t have it, the cuffs were something you decided to wear, questionable fashion but not illegal and not an emergency.”    

Mr. Silva shrugged and said, “Here is my suggestion. Call a friend to pick you up and take you to a police station”. 

I thought about that for a couple of seconds. I had only been in DC for a month so I really didn’t know anyone that well. Most of the people I worked with were much older than I was or they were my company’s customers. There was no way I was going to involve them in this. So I told him, “I really don’t know anyone here, I’ve only been here a month”. 

Mr. Silva thought about it a minute, then said, “well that’s a problem, I’ll be back in a second” 

When he came back he handed me a paper card, it was a Metro Card. I looked at it then up at him and said, “what’s that for”. 

He said “When you leave here turn right out the door and take the escalator to the Metro station. Get on the Blue Line train and take it a few stops north to Rosslyn. There is an APD substation there just outside the station. Give them that police report and ask them to free you.” 

I must have looked stunned at the implications, he chuckled then said, “Sorry son, I know its embarrassing but that’s the absolute best I can do. There has been a police report and a log, CPS has an implied liability until you officially leave here. If one of my staff were to give you a ride in their personal car CSP would be liable if there was some kind of an accident and we are not insured for transporting people. I still think calling someone is your best bet.” 

He got up and said, “that’s it follow me”. I numbly got up and followed him out the door. He led me down to the break room where he told the two male guards that had brought me here were sitting. 

He said, “Stan and Chuck escort Mr. Witting to the door, he’s free to go”. 

Stan and Chuck were the two security guards that had, with Denise, escorted me to the office 

Stan looked at me, still in handcuffs, then back at Mr. Silva and said, “You’re kidding right?” 

Mr. Silva said, “No”. 

When they looked astonished he took them aside and they had a short conversation. 

Then he brusquely walked by me and said, “Mr. Witting, again please accept my apologies on behalf of Capital Properties Security, Have a good evening”. 

As he went down the hallway without thinking I turned around, bent over and flipped two birds to his back. Then I said, “Darn!”. < I didn’t actually say Darn > 

When I turned around Stan and Chuck were stifling laughter and grinning. Chuck said, “He’s a jerk” <They didn’t say jerk either>. Denise came out of another room talked quickly to Stan and then said wait a minute. She pulled out a pad of paper and pen and scribbled something on it. Then she stuffed it in my bib pocket. She said, “Farm boy when you get both hands usable, take a look“. She smiled, and then left down the corridor. 

This had all happened too fast so I asked Stan if I could use the restroom, I really needed it. Stan said he had to to go to, so we all went in the restroom. After a great deal of maneuvering I managed to unzip, take a leak and then rezip without damaging any anatomy. I said, “This is going to really suck, I could really use a drink”. 

Stan and Chuck looked at each other and laughed. Then Chuck said follow us, we went out a back door up a ½ set of stairs to ground level then out a door to the outside into a smoking area, it was freezing. I started shivering immediately. Stan lit up a cigarette then they both pulled out hip flasks. Chuck helped me with flask support while I had about 4 healthy shots in one mouthful of the worst tasting crap I had ever had, whatever it was it definitely had alcohol content to it. When I stopped sputtering, 

I said “what the HECK was that”. <I didn’t actually say HECK”> 

Chuck said, “Why, that’s some of my Dads best stuff”. 

I exclaimed, “I think the hair on my chest just grew 3 inches then fell off”. It did warm me up nicely though. 

We chatted a few minutes while Stan finished his cigarette. Chucks family was from southern Maryland and his dad made homebrew moonshine. Apparently it’s a hobby like golf is where I come from. Chuck told me that some people were good at it. 

I didn’t comment, clearly his dad wasn’t, but he obviously made up for it in alcohol content, I kept my opinion to myself and just nodded sagely. 

Finally Stan ground his cigarette out with his heel and said “OK we have to go”. 

I gulped andtold Chuck, “Can I have another shot from your flask”. He obliged me with another healthy shot and then it really was time to go.     

We walked down the long corridor to the door to the Underground. Stan opened the door for me and said “Metro is to your right through the doors and down the escalator”. 

I knew where it was but I said, “Thanks” then stepped through the door into the brightly lit Underground. I heard the door behind me close and lock. 

16.08.09