Hello and Welcome,

My name is Lillan (pronounced Lil-lan). I've put together this site to meet others of like interests and to share my experiences as other may find them of interest or use. I think of myself as living just on the outskirts of the gender and the bondage communities. By that I mean that cross dressing and bondage don't consume my life as they do for others I've met. Instead, they are enjoyable "hobbies" that I like to explore when the inklings, time and opportunites permit.

As I said on my home page, the interests I've dedicated this site to exploring are bondage (self-bondage in particular) and cross dressing. My interests in these areas seems to have developed quite separately from one another. My memories of experimenting with self-bondage extend back almost as far as I can remember. Somewhere in the teen years I began adding an article or two of female clothing into my self-bondage escapades but it was only an element of the bondage. It wasn't until my mid twenties that cross dressing became an activity in it's own right in that the focus was on the clothes and a female persona. I practiced it entirely apart from and in exclusion from any bondage. For several years I focused on achieving a level of perfection in dressing such that I could venture out in front of the public eye. My first steps outside my private world were limited, frightening and awkward but ultimately rewarding in their success. With time they became more and more bold as I became more and more confident. Each time out emboldening me just a bit more. After a while the exclusive focus on dressing subsided and I began to mix in some bondage games. Today I've reached a point where I enjoy each separately and together as the mood strikes me.

At this point I suppose a few words concerning bondage in general and self-bondage in particular are in order. To those who tell me that bondage involing two or more people is more rewarding I won't disagree. However, given the circumstances of my life, what I gain by limiting myself to self-bondage more than compensates me for what I loose. Any other choice would constitue stupidity on my part. For those who say that self-bondage is dangerous (and/or stupid), I submit that done correctly and carefully, it's certainly less dangerous than many other activities in which people engage, skydiving for example. As to discipline, let me merely state that I don't much care for physical pain and prefer to avoid it whenever possible.

Finally, so many of you have asked for a picture of me, well here's one. My apologies for being so shy.