ORIGINS

I've already mentioned my first ever sexual fantasy, in the story Surprise! - sharing a wetsuit made for two. A fantasy that has hints of rubber and hints of bondage, plus a little bit of submissiveness too. It's no wonder that I turned out the way I did. I don't know where the fantasy came from, it just popped into my head while I was dozing off to sleep in my little bed. At the time, I didn't even know what a sexual fantasy was - let's just say that with a little help from my instinctive fingers, I soon found out.

At that time, I was into horror novels and not at all into boys (and didn't even know that a girl could be into girls - how naïve and innocent I was). I was a bit of a geek, to be honest, and a late developer, and always had my nose buried in a book. Around that time, one particular book that I had my nose buried in was Gerald's Game by Stephen King - strangely, a novel warning about the potential dangers of bondage, but instead of putting me off I was blown away by the novelty of being handcuffed to the bedposts... totally helpless... vulnerable... ooohhhh...

It was around that time that my knicker elastic began to snap for no apparent reason and my tights developed mysterious ladders and holes - casualties of early experimentation with self-bondage. Always done last thing at night, in the privacy of my bed, scared stiff that my parents might hear my struggles! I was too shy to share my kinky addiction with anyone else. I remember one occasion I struggled so much I fell out of bed, naked, with my hands securely tied behind my back, gagged with my own panties - I laid there for what seemed like ages, hoping my parents wouldn't investigate, struggling silently, knowing I'd be unable to cover or explain myself. I had one hell of an orgasm on my bedroom floor, and luckily I eventually managed to untie myself. I've always been good at escaping from bonds when I need to.

I also got into writing at that age, although the novels I worked on were not brilliant. They always started off serious but degenerated into sexy bondage scenarios (with large quantities of body paint, for some reason) - I was too shy to keep hold of them, so consigned them to the dustbin.

The transition from GCSE's to A Levels was a huge leap for me. I threw off my nerdy image and my grades suffered as a result... but I was getting an education outside of school which was much more fun. I had a few "long-term" boyfriends, although I think they were all a little freaked out by my strange requests... I'd ask them to tie my hands securely behind my back, then kiss me and nibble my neck and play with my breasts (if they weren't too shy). I got a bit of a reputation, which I gladly left behind when I went to university (my grades didn't suffer too badly from my experimentation). I also gained an eye for fashion, a love for dancing and a taste for alcohol!

Boyfriends in my first year at university were more confident and quite liked the fact that, even though I'm not a big eater, I like to have things in my mouth. But the major discovery during my first year at university was the Internet... where I discovered chatrooms and erotica. One particular chatroom taught me a great deal about Mistress/slave relationships - although I wasn't really into women at the time, I let myself be dominated by them since they seemed a lot more capable and knowledgeable than their male equivalents (no offense to anyone, that's just what I experienced at the time). I suppose around that time I would have classified myself as "bi-curious", if I had heard the expression. I explored a huge array of kinks in the chatrooms, refining my tastes by reading short-story websites like this one, and eventually began to focus on the particular kinks I enjoy these days.

After a particularly hot chat with a red-blooded American male online, he asked if I was an erotic novelist. I said I wasn't, and he said I should be. So, that night, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote My Windows Have Never Been Cleaner, which was adapted from a real-life experience. Oh, and by then, the items mentioned in the story were hidden in a shoebox in the bottom of my wardrobe. They were shown to the occasional lucky guy, but were mostly used for self-bondage. I had heard that the style of handcuffs I owned had an unfortunate habit of jamming, which made wearing them all the more exciting...

My second year at university began with a disappointment, when I discovered that I had a room-mate. Gone was the privacy of my own little room inside which I could practise self-bondage to my heart's content. She was a bisexual, busty blonde who was very popular with the guys, and to be honest made me feel a little bit intimidated. I am a very private person, and my heart always sank when I got back to my room after lectures to find her entertaining a guy... So, I spent even more time in the computer rooms getting my education in virtual bondage, and even wrote a few more stories (Of Cats And Cuffs and One Night Stand being amongst my favourites). I think the sudden energy and passion I found for writing was a direct result of losing my self-bondage priveleges.

So, imagine my joy when I heard that she was going away for a weekend. A whole weekend with the room to myself. My first opportunity to test the vertical bars on my bed...

I closed the door behind me, hearing the satisfying click as it locked. There were only two keys into this room - one was in my jeans pocket, the other was somewhere else in the UK (I hadn't really listened to where my room-mate had said she was going). I was going to get the privacy I had craved for so long. I slipped out of my tight jeans and peeled off my t-shirt, taking the opportunity to parade around the room in my bra and panties. I turned my stereo onto full blast to stake my claim on the room. It was a liberating experience, dancing to loud music in my undies, since I was far too shy to do act like that when my room-mate was around.

I danced in the direction of my wardrobe, and fetched my favourite shoe-box from under the pile of assorted garments. I grabbed my entire bondage toy collection from the box before returning the box to my wardrobe and putting the toys on the bed: a blindfold (the type used by plane travellers to ensure a good night's sleep), a red ballgag, a black collar, a pair of furry handcuffs (sans fur) and a couple of short lengths of rough rope (not nice soft bondage rope). Next, I opened the cool-box under my bed and fetched the bowl from inside, which contained the key to my handcuffs frozen in an ice-cube. It was already beginning to melt, but would still provide me plenty of time for self-inflicted bondage fun.

I placed the bowl on the floor, near the head of the bed. I tied the ice-cube so that it would dangle just above where my fingers would be (once I was bound) - the cold water would drip onto my fingers, and the bowl would stop me getting a wet patch on the carpet. I would also be able to reach up for the key and try to melt the ice with my hands, if I felt the need to escape. I sat on the bed and tied my ankles together - I wasn't very skilled at knots in those days, but I remember that I did quite a good job on that occasion. I then tied my knees together, before picking up the ballgag and pulling it into my mouth, fastening it tightly at the back of my neck. I also donned the black leather collar. It was then that I realised that I had left the light on, and would feel more comfortable doing my bondage in the dark. Since I didn't want to undo my bondage so far, I used a small series of bunny-hops to get to the light-switch and return to my bed.

I slid under the covers, which felt very odd with my bound legs but brought back nice memories... I located the handcuffs and pulled the blindfold over my eyes. Then, it was simply a case of reaching up to the headboard, putting my hands between the vertical bars, and handcuffing my wrists together. And there I was, deliciously helpless.

I remember struggling a little, testing my bonds, and feeling my nipples grow more sensitive inside my bra. I remember turning over onto my tummy and rubbing my body against my mattress, fantasising about sexy burglars... mmmmmphing into my gag as I writhed on the bed. I was working steadily towards a mind-blowing orgasm, and had almost finished the journey when I heard the click of the bedroom door being unlocked.

I quickly rolled over onto my back as my mind raced. Who was at the door? And if they came in, what would they see? I could feel that the duvet had moved quite a lot as I had struggled - cool air on my tummy told me just how far it had moved, as well as informing me that the door had opened. Someone stepped into the room and closed the door behind them. I laid very still, hoping that they wouldn't notice me in the darkness - if it was my room-mate, returned early from her journey, perhaps she would just flop onto her bed and go straight to sleep..? It had to be her - no-one else had the key to this room.

I heard a click, and could tell through my blindfold that the light had been turned on. I didn't dare move a muscle, I just silently prayed that I wouldn't be discovered. And if I was discovered, I hoped that my room-mate wouldn't freak out completely, but that she'd either ignore me or release me, and not mention it again. I heard the volume on my stereo being reduced, and my heart sank as I felt her sitting on the bed next to me.

"What do we have here?" she asked, leaning over me.

I panicked, and made a grab for the ice-cube which contained the key. Unfortunately for me, she was faster, and pulled it from my fingers. While she examined it, I turned my attention to removing the blindfold - it was a tricky manoeuvre, but I eventually managed it. I couldn't quite reach the ball-gag buckle on the back of my neck with my hands cuffed to the bed.

"Did you do this to yourself?" she asked.

I nodded. She was sitting on the bed next to my hip, still wearing her coat. I could do nothing but wait to see what she did next. I didn't have to wait long. She pulled the duvet from the bed, revealing my bound legs, and a smile spread across her face as she looked me up and down. She reached forward and gently stroked my thigh - her fingers were cold, but my shivering response was also due to my nervousness and shyness. And my excitement, since in a single act she proved just how utterly helpless and vulnerable I was.

"I need a moment to think," she said, "here, you look after this."

She held up the ice-cube containing the key. In one swift movement, she had tucked it inside my left bra cup, where it pressed down on my very hard nipple... And while I struggled to try to remove, or at least dislodge it, she stood up, grabbed something from her wardrobe and left the room. The next few minutes should have been filled with agonising thought about what would happen next, about the fact that I had been discovered, about what the future held... but I was too busy dealing with the immediate problem of the ice cube on my nipple. It took a couple of minutes, but I eventually managed to re-locate the ice-cube from my bra to the mattress. It was while I was congratulating myself that my room-mate returned.

She had discarded her travelling clothes, but was still wearing her coat. When she closed the door behind her, I caught a glimpse of what she was wearing underneath - sexy white lingerie. She quickly closed the distance between us and straddled me, her coat pooling around us. She brushed my hair away from my face and smiled warmly.

"Do you want this?"

"Mmmmph?"

"Never mind, you're in no position to say no anyway..."

She slipped out of her coat, revealing her white bra, g-string, stockings and suspenders. I took the opportunity to admire her tanned, toned body - she was gorgeous. She quickly slipped out of her bra, revealing a generous pair of 36D breasts. I didn't have long to admire them, since a moment later she was lying beside me, running her fingers up and down my helpless body, nibbling on my tender neck. How did she know that I liked my neck nibbled? I was definitely beginning to see her in a new light now.

She reached under me and unfastened my bra, pulling it up to my wrists, and she took a moment to admire my breasts, making me feel all the more helpless. She had one of her legs on top of mine, keeping me from moving away, and began to slowly kiss around my nipples. I was so horny now, and the hardness of my nipples was all the evidence she needed that I was distinctly bisexual...

I gasped into the gag as she began to lick and nibble my nipples, and writhed in absolute pleasure as one of her hands slid between my bound thighs and stoked the heat of my furnace... She didn't let me go for hours, and brought me to orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. And I had barely enough time after one to catch my breath before the journey to the next one began.

I was so exhausted when she eventually removed the gag from my mouth.

"Have you enjoyed yourself, Laura?" she asked.

"I think I've just had the best experience of my life," I replied.

"Same again tomorrow night?"

"You bet," I grinned, "but it will be your turn to wear the handcuffs, Pauline."

She didn't reply, but I could tell by the way her smile broadened that she liked the idea.

And that, as they say, was the start of a beautiful relationship. My thanks to the guy who stood her up that night. We both continued to have boyfriends while we were at university, but always got back together in the evenings for bondage fun. There was even one guy, Mike, who we let into our bondage relationship for a few months. After graduating, Pauline and I rented a house together (Mike had gone off to pastures new) and we decided to keep our relationship a closed one - just me, Pauline and the strap-on...

About a year later, Pauline was mucking about on my computer when she discovered my old bondage stories. I hadn't written anything since we had met, but she suggested that I create a website and fill it with sexy stories. So I did. And here it is. I hope you like it.