Subject:      Re: Self-bondage (VERY LONG and full of WARNINGS)
From:         Sandy
Date:         1998/04/16
Newsgroups:   soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm

Robert writes:

>
> Have anyone some good ideas on a strict self-bondage technics?
> I think itīs quite thrilling but I have never don it my self. So I need
> some advice.
> Post some or drop it in my mailbox. PLEASE!
>

Mmm.

Some folk say "never do it", but I've managed to get myself in a few
(just about) escapable binds and thoroughly enjoyed them.

"Strict" self bondage? Difficult at best to do safely.

1st thing to remember, all autobondage needs to be eventually escapable
and different people are dextrous as escape artists in different ways.
Having been bound by very experienced people and managed to escape without
too much mucking about from things they swore would be inescapable I *beg*
you to consider the possiblity that the tricks I am posting here could
be very dangerous *indeed* for people who can't bend about as easily as I
can, I have only ever had myself as a test-subject.

Also, pay close attention to whatever anyone else posts you on this
as it is possibly the most dangerous form of BDSM and I bet other people
know more about it than me.


I will now attempt to SCARE YOU OFF the idea.

Having taken a short course in forensic medicine, I remember a grisly
slide show of bound corpses in varying states of decay, often cross dressed.
These were people who also enjoyed self-bondage, many of them were into
strangulation, and I'm willing to bet none of them were out to anybody.
A common theme was a noose-type arrangement, in which the poor guys had
suspended themselves from beams or door-frames with a rope around their
necks, there was usually a pair of scissors on the floor... one can only
assume that they were holding onto them tightly but let go of them during
the "scene". Strangely enough, the folks were nearly always men.

The phenomenon is common enough in Britain to have its own classification
in coronary reports - that of "sexual asphyxia."

A short story - one of the slides was of a cross-dressed chap who
liked to throw himself into a lake tied to a rock.

The police found his corpse in the lake and assumed that some macho blokes had
found him in lady's garments and decided they didn't like him, punishing
him with a damn good drowning.

Not so, said the forensics experts. Drain the lake, they said.
The police drained the lake and found a whole bunch of rocks with bits
of rope tied to them on the bottom.

He slipped up, let go of the scissors.

Needless to say, I do not endorse his technique.

NEVER assume that because you've managed an autobondage trick once
without disaster that you can relax, that you're experienced enough not
to worry about safety, you only have to be unlucky once.


Okay, enough scaring you off the idea, here's how I do it.

The golden rule is to be extra bloody careful. Try and make sure there'll
be somebody around in the house, even if you're not out to your flatmates
or family or whoever you live with, or if you live by yourself, make sure
you can easily get a phone off the hook and shout into it or that someone
will be coming round at some point, know the *time* they'll be coming, it's
much more of a guarantee than a vague promise of "I'll be there". The
embarassment of being discovered tied up can't really be worse than starving
to death, almost certainly whoever finds you will just burst out laughing,
and 90% of people would probably hold it in confidence.

For extra thrill-points, tie yourself up with someone in the house who
doesn't know you're into bondage at all like your Dad or a mondo
straight flatmate, making it more difficult to call for help, there is
also mental bondage.

If you're dead set on doing it with nobody around (I do quite a lot, I have
to confess my lunacy), start with simple easy things with folk around first
so that you can get used to what you can get out of and what you can't.

(?silly idea - It could be sensible to leave a poky implement with which to
 dial buttons on the phone next to it that you can pick up in your teeth!!)


Stupid things you should NEVER do:

1 Cuff yourself up and throw away the key or put it somewhere you
can't get at it.

2 Cuff yourself up weaing gloves, I've done this and injured myself trying to
get out, which I did by cutting the gloves, ruining them.

3 Tie yourself up inescapably without thinking about how you're going to get
out. (Daft to point out, I know, but people *will* do these things)

4 Sit in miserable silence in your room in a state of advanced, painful
immobility knowing someone else is in the house but feeling too embarassed to
call for help.


RIGHT.

Nice, sort of safe, easy things:

A good test of whether you can escape easily from things is to cuff your
hands behind you with the locks facing *down*, towards your palms rather
than *up*, towards your forearms (doing it that way you can try if you want
but it's quite a bit of a bastard getting out of them), and then try and
unlock them with the key in your fingers. Make sure you can call on someone
for help.

If you can't unlock youself and end up calling on a giggling or horrified
relative or flatmate, you probably won't need me to tell you that you should
GIVE UP on autobondage.

Another thing is to use a belt. Make a few loops in it, about 3, 4 maybe.
Thread the end through the buckle and wedge it in the drawer of a chest of
drawers. Slip your hands behind you and through the loops, the best way to my
mind being such that your hands go through the loops from different
directions rather than both pointing the same way, it's easier and feels
more restrictive. And *pull*. With a little prodding of fingers you should be
able to get the buckle-lever in a hole, nice and tight makes it really
quite hard to get out of.

The way out of this is to grab the end of the belt and pull as hard as you
can to free the buckle-lever from the hole. It is easy to tie yourself up like
this so that you haven't the strength/dexterity to get out by pulling the
belt (the nice thing about it), in which case a pair of scissors
will be necessary. Make sure you have some nearby, it'll mean no more belt,
but what the hell.

Again, if you haven't the way with your fingers to get a scissor-blade between
the loops, it's panic-stations and hoarse hollerings for help. Make sure
that there is at least an unsuspecting stranger.

The two above things aren't *all that* nasty and *might* be done with
nobody around, making them more fun, but for *at least* the first time,
do it with someone in the house. Consider them tests of your dexterity.

Needless to say either of the above techniques can be combined with tying
up your legs for extra restraining pleasure, but this limits your general
ability do do stuff and could prevent you getting at keys and scissors in
unexpected ways.


Okay, DANGEROUS things, in order of dangerousness, least dangerous first.

1) If you have a pair of handcuffs, lock them on yourself with the
key frozen in an ice-cube. If they're the kind of cuffs that have a
ratchet lock, ie that tiny button that you depress with the poky rather
than unlocky end of the key so that they don't close any further on your
wrists, you can simulate the effect of that with a thick needle like an
embroidery needle or a thin nail. Don't use matchsticks as these can
break off in the cuffs and leave them unlockable and inescapable.

I would *not* recommend using cuffs that don't have a ratchet lock,
free-ratchet cuffs are damn dangerous. I don't think many examples of
this kind are still around, but check any pair of cuffs you're using for
autobondage before you use them. I know that goes pretty much without
saying, but people do the most extraordinarily silly things.

In case of emergency, you can put the ice-cube in a pan on a hotplate,
although that could be even more dangerous than locking yourself up if
there's anything flammable close by.

Oh, by the way, this probably doesn't need saying, but if you're going
to try any self bondage trick, switch off *everything* in the house that
could conceivably start a fire, *especially* if there isn't anyone around.

2) Slip knots, WARNING, these are VERY DANGEROUS, but if you don't struggle
you can be reasonably certain of not cutting off your circulation.

SCISSORS ARE *NECESSARY* for this.

Measure a length of rope out for the following:

Tie two slip knots at the ends of a piece of rope and place one of your
wrists in one of the loops and pull the rope snug around your wrist.
Put that hand behind your back as far up as it can go and with your free hand.
Pull the rope under your arm and across your chest in a diagonal so that
other loop just dangles over the opposite shoulder. Place your other arm
behind your back and find the loop with your fingers, with a bit of a wriggle
you can get your hand through and a little tug will secure the loop around
your wrist. If you cut the rope short enough that it pulls your arms up
behind you as far as they can go, you should find that you can't get the
fingers of one hand to reach the slip-knot around the other hand's wrist, a
very nice, snug, humiliating sort of bondage, this.

Be DAMN CAREFUL not to pull too hard, as it could be several
seconds before you can find a pair of scissors to cut the rope if you've
pulled it too tight, even if you've placed the scissors where you can find
them quickly you might find that your hand is too numb to use them properly
or that your un-numb hand is in the wrong position to reach the scissors.

If you do find yourself in a slip-knot bind that's too tight, remember,
struggling makes the situation much worse. To be extra safe, make sure
scissors are next to you.

This technique, though part of me kind of hesitates to use that term,
in fact, let's call it a stunt, is *NOT SAFE*. It is difficult to get the
scissors into the right position to cut the rope. Try it if you want, but
make *sure* that there is someone in the house.

The bit about having someone in the house, I MEAN THAT.

3) I'm almost certainly going to get flamed by somebody for posting this
one.



                    For Advanced Escape Artists only

                            !!! WARNING !!!

            Children should NOT try this at home unless they
               are VERY CLEVER and pervy and can get out
                        of damn near *anything*

Tie a piece of string to the hour hand of a clock on a wall.
To the end of this string attach either a pair of scissors or the keys
to whatever padlocks/handcuffs you want to use or whatever device it is you
need to escape in an easily detachable way.

Light sellotaping works best cos you can get your free-me device onto the
floor and in reach. DON'T use things like elastic bands as they are
buggers for getting the thing to your fingers.

Move the hour hand round to 6.

Tie your ankles together and/or to your legs so that you can't jump up and
test yourself with your arms behind you (although still unbound, obviously)
in trying to reach and detach/pull towards you the key/scissors with your
teeth. Remember that you have to get the key or scissors into a position where
you can reach it with your hands.

Adjust the length of the string so that you reach it when the hand is in
a certain position ( I like to be able to reach it *just and no more* at 6,
tee hee ).

Untie your legs.

Spread nice, comfortable, soft things all over the floor, pillows, duvets,
cushions, as you will be spending a LONG time tied up, move as much furniture
out of the room as possible (you don't want things falling on you), and put on
your favourite clothes.

If you have speakers for a tape-deck that can be set up to loop itself and
play continuously, put them in the room and put on a tape of
screams and moans or nasty music or the voice of your Master telling you
what a shit you are and how soon and easily you will break...

Black out the window with dark-room material or a long black curtain or
whatever.

Re-tie your ankles to your legs.

Set the hour hand to 12, or better still !! 7 !! (work it out, folks).

Bind your hands behind yourself using any of the techniques mentioned above.

AND...

You will be magically transported to a padded cell of your own making.
You will be your own prisoner with no chance of escape until 6.
Whatever wrongdoing of which you are guilty (or not guilty), be certain
that your absolute powerlessness will be a *severe* punishment.

You will NOT get free. You will PAY the price for your attitude and
there will be *nobody*, anywhere in the world, who knows or cares about
the sorry little mess of a fuckup you are or the appalling state you've
got yourself into.

After a while you will be subdued, defeated fuckup, a small and sorry
fuckup, and you will be *very humble* and you will say; "Yes sir",
you will not feel like a very big or brave person at *all*.

Unless being made powerless in this way makes you feel more brave
in that mysterious way that us folks sometimes get. Both at the same time is,
of course an option. Perhaps it is always like that...?

I love doing this. I get all sweaty and hot and start to feel my muscles
tense up and slacken off in waves, it is MONDO intense.

Making it slightly safer (but only slightly):

It's a good idea to try this one hour at a time to start with, for obvious
reasons, people have their own limits for prolonged bondage. You could start
with the quickest downward drop, 3 to 6 o'clock. Make the key easily
reachable, give yourself time to get at it, cut yourself some slack, say,
between 5 and 7, give yourelf a big launch window to get out, you may need
more than one attempt.

Things to remember with this:

Some people think that a Dom(me) should never leave someone bound alone.
I disagree with this in the case of the sub or slave *asking* to be left alone,
but they have good reasons for believing it, you can asphyxiate, have a fit,
faint, have a monstrous panic attack in bondage, and it's no fun having
no-one there to help.

You never *really* know how you're going to react emotionally to being tied up
until you're actually in the tight spot, you can do it a hundred times
quite happily and then find yourself crying in the dark without a friend.
It's horrible.

Try to be your own Dom(me) and understand your own limits. You'd want
your Master or Mistress to care about what happens to you, so care about
yourself, you're the only one in there who can. If you find yourself
shaking with fear or overcome with fatigue when it comes to release yourself,
stop trying for a bit and try to calm down. Talk out loud if it helps.

Best of all, have a phone in your padded cell so you can call the cavalry
with your teeth.

BEING TIED UP IS DANGEROUS, end of story.


NOW.

Having posted all this stuff, I feel it important to address those of
you who think I'm a loony.

You could well be right. Considering the fact that I share a flat with two
wonderful SMy people who introduced me to the delights of giving in and
taking over, one might wonder why I would go to these extraordinary
lengths to punish myself.

Well, firstly I live with people who will quite happily let me out of my
little cell if and when they find me in it (and if they think I deserve it),
because they are caring and nice and they come and go in and out a lot.
Stunt no.3 borders on stupidity, I am well aware of that, but...

Secondly, I get off on it big time.

Thirdly, even if it what I have described is ridiculously dangerous,
remember that involving other people in tying you up can also be quite
dangerous... I wonder if the milder forms of autobondage I describe
are as off-key as some of the techniques I have heard inexperienced doms
use, some of the stories I have heard on this group make me shudder with
horror. Being responsible for your own safety *can* be, if you're CAREFUL
perhaps a *little* safer that trusting a stranger.

I guess what I'm saying with this is that handcuffing yourself
if you know you can get out won't really be as risky as jumping with both
feet into a scene with a psychotic Dom(me) you've met through a personals
column who thinks a safeword means: "they can't take it, push them." I may be
wrong there but I'd like the why and how of my wrongness pointed out before I
believe it.

Fourthly, it's my life and my body and my right to be a loony if I want,
so there, nyer.

So, all you desperate prolonged bondage freaks, maybe a little *ultra-mild*
autobondage, autobondage Lite, could prepare you nicely for that special
Dom or Domme. Practice being Mr Totally Paranoid about safety on yourself
and you could get a good idea of what you're prepared for in terms of being
dominated for real...

And Robert - please don't die trying these things. If you're doing it
cos you can't get someone to tie you up (I hope that's not the case) please
do try hard to find a nice, friendly dominant type to show you the ropes,
strict bondage is best of all, for safety, practised by one person on another.
I hope you don't find that patronising, but I got myself into some scary
scrapes before I figured out I could ask other people to tie me up and would
never forgive myself for providing you with a dangerous way of having fun
if that were the case.

LOVE, RESPECT AND HUGS...

Ermm.

Look, before I go, could I get someone to get this...(TUG) canvas cardigan
thing off me? (wriggle)... I can't remember how I got in it and it's kinda
*stuck*... (writhe, twist....wriggle...)

HEELPPP!!! LEMME OUT!!!!

--
S A N D Y

"This is even more fun than walking through a plate-glass window!"