Article: 1 of 12
From: markus <kempken>
Subject:     female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: Tue, 03 Nov 1998 21:45:17 +0000
x-no-archive: yes

Philip the Foole wrote:

Obligatory sexual dimorphism-related BDSM: Any female self-bondage enthusiasts out there? I admittedly haven't read every post on every topic, but all of the self-bondagers I recall reading have been male.

There are some. (I am none of them.) I guess they don't post here because they're too tied up in the moment.

markus

"Earth is a big enough place for all of us to be wrong" Arno Schmidt


Article: 2 of 12
From: The Little Red-Haired Girl <laria>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: 10 Nov 1998 20:20:50 GMT
Philip the Foole wrote:
Obligatory sexual dimorphism-related BDSM: Any female self-bondage enthusiasts out there? I admittedly haven't read every post on every topic, but all of the self-bondagers I recall reading have been male.

Um. I'm female and was a self-bondage enthusiast in my youth. I haven't done too much in the way of self-bondage since I've been old enough to have partners. :)

Sincerely,

Laria

laria@links.magenta.com The Little Red-Haired Girl "...You've got your chain tied to me tight. Tie me up again." - DMB


Article: 3 of 12
From: felicity <justfelicity>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1998 16:54:39 -0500
In article <72a772$dtc$2@links.magenta.com>, laria@links.magenta.com The Little Red-Haired Girl espoused...
Philip the Foole wrote:
Obligatory sexual dimorphism-related BDSM: Any female self-bondage enthusiasts out there? I admittedly haven't read every post on every topic, but all of the self-bondagers I recall reading have been male.

Um. I'm female and was a self-bondage enthusiast in my youth. I haven't done too much in the way of self-bondage since I've been old enough to have partners. :)

Me too.

In fact, Philip's mention of youthful water play (in the 16 yr. old thread) brought up fond memories of bathroom play from my early teen years. The bathroom was the only place I could be for an extended period of time without my parents wondering what the heck was going on.

"I was just *really* dirty, mom." Well, sort of. ::grin::

-- felicity, just felicity
Queen of the Bondage Death Squad http://members.xoom.com/justfelicity/index.htm


Article: 4 of 12
From: Nicole Cloonan <nicoleC>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: 11 Nov 1998 01:00:30 GMT
Philip the Foole wrote:

*pickmepickmepickme*

There most certianly are avid female self bondage type people as this thread has indicated. I was/am one of them.

Little Red-Haired Girl said:


felicity wrote: : Me too.


: "I was just *really* dirty, mom." Well, sort of. ::grin::

*grin*

I remember there was a time in my life when I couldn't sleep properly at night unless I bound my feet together. Some sort of security blanket thing I guess.

I've done such incredibly stupid things too. I look back, and I wonder where on earth my common sense went. I suppose that sometimes sexual release can be more important than anything, especially if there is no one you can talk to about this. I wasn't ashamed of my sexuality, but I wasn't flaunting it either. In my world, sex is a private thing that I only talk about with my partners (and 250 000 of my closest newsgroup friends !!! ), so if you don't have a partner, you don't tell anyone about it. *shrug*

I used to bind my ankles together, first around the both of them, and then between them, making a sort of cloth handcuff. I'd then have a length of rope/sock/cloth that would attach to a set of toy handcuffs, the ones that come with stupid pick fluffy protectors (which of course I removed). I'd blindfold and gag myself, insert whatever stimulation was needed, and put my hands behind my back and lock myself in. When I wanted to release myself, I would reach around to the quick release switch on the handcuffs, and presto - I'd be out.

As I got more confident and comfortable about doing this, I increased the strigency of my bondage. I'd add a home made lockable collar, and attach another rope/length of cloth to the bond ankles and secure them to the end of the bed. After a time, I'd also start attaching the collar to the head of the bed, the length of rope would get progressively shorter as I experimented more with breath err... restriction. *hothothothothot*. I never once had a safety backup and, with the exception of the handcuffs, all the material I used to bind myself was stuff you would find around the house anyway.

I only had a scary experience once, when the safety release on the handcuffs stuck, and I started to panic. Writhing around not being able to breathe didn't help the situation much. *sigh* But it didn't stop me. My risk/benefit analysis always came down in favour of me doing it. Until I got a partner, and my now fiance made me promise I would never do anything stupid like that again.

Every now and again I just want to tie myself up, when I'm alone, because then I can relax and enjoy it rather than be concerned about who else I'm pleasing. I find it peaceful.

But had I had SSB or *anyone* as a resource, I don't think I would have gone as far as I did. I would have had enough information to change the risk/benefit analysis. I probably still would have done the self bondage, but taken more precautions.

Nicole.

-- ICQ #16699535
SSB Diplomatic Corps: Brisbane, Australia
SSB Hompage: http://ssbb.home.ml.org/


Article: 5 of 12
From: Philip the Foole <ptf>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 1998 20:51:25 -0800
Wow! Thanks to Laria, felicity, and Nicole (and anybody else whose posts have not arrived yet) for your responses. Female self-bondage turns me on almost as much as *hot lesbian sex.*

In addition to solo self-bondage, I also enjoy tying myself up for the enjoyment of my partner, or having them place themselves in self-bondage while I watch and perhaps provide some assistance with those last hard-to-reach knots.

Sometimes when I do self-bondage I fantasize about being my own captive. My pro-domme friend Margaret likes to interrogate her clients about their sex lives. Professional interest. (She claims.) She says this type of fantasy self-bondage "switching" is very common.

I know we had a discussion of "switching camera angle" a while back in partner play. Anybody else enjoy this sort of solo mental gymnastics?

Your Humble Jester,

Philip the Foole


Article: 6 of 12
From: The Little Red-Haired Girl <laria>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: 11 Nov 1998 16:02:47 GMT
Philip the Foole (ptf@ix.netcom.com) shared with us all:
Wow! Thanks to Laria, felicity, and Nicole (and anybody else whose posts have not arrived yet) for your responses. Female self-bondage turns me on almost as much as *hot lesbian sex.*

You're very welcome. I'm happy to be one of several to help you discover a new kink. :)

[snip]

Sometimes when I do self-bondage I fantasize about being my own captive.

[snip]
I know we had a discussion of "switching camera angle" a while back in partner play. Anybody else enjoy this sort of solo mental gymnastics?

Absolutely! I still use the "captive being interrogated/tortured" fantasy for solo play whether it is self-bondage or self-inflicted SM. Hrm... now that I've started working out again, maybe if I kept that mindset while exercising, the workout wouldn't be so awful.

Sincerely,

Laria

laria@links.magenta.com The Little Red-Haired Girl "...You've got your chain tied to me tight. Tie me up again." - DMB


Article: 7 of 12
From: Nicole Cloonan <nicoleC>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: 12 Nov 1998 01:45:02 GMT
Philip the Foole (ptf@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
In addition to solo self-bondage, I also enjoy tying myself up for the enjoyment of my partner, or having them place themselves in self-bondage while I watch and perhaps provide some assistance with those last hard-to-reach knots.

Sometimes when I do self-bondage I fantasize about being my own captive. My pro-domme friend Margaret likes to interrogate her clients about their sex lives. Professional interest. (She claims.) She says this type of fantasy self-bondage "switching" is very common.

I know we had a discussion of "switching camera angle" a while back in partner play. Anybody else enjoy this sort of solo mental gymnastics?

In order for it to turn me on, it has to be realistic. I have to believe that I can't get out of the bondage, and there has to be some "logical" reason why I am there. The fantasy of nonconsenuality is really *hot*. Just being tied up (even with stimulation) doesn't do anything for me. So, there has to be some sort of scenario as to how I ended up on my bed tied up in knots.

I often fantasize that there is a male tormenter and I switch to that role breifly to convince myself that it is *likely*. I don't play the role for long. Just long enough to say "here is the likely scenario up until this point", and then I can get down to the business of being the helpless victim. I don't switch back and forth though, so I'm not sure if this is what you're asking about?

Sometimes I wonder if I were to actually be kidnapped and err... persecuted in the manner I fantazise about, whether I would actually enjoy it. *shrug* Probably. Fear is a big turn on for me.

Nicole.

-- ICQ #16699535
SSB Diplomatic Corps: Brisbane, Australia
SSB Hompage: http://ssbb.home.ml.org/


Article: 8 of 12
From: Lovenylonz <lovenylonz>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: 12 Nov 1998 04:26:16 GMT
thats pretty terrific. I have only had one female backup who was willing to find me tied, and gagged. it was heaven. and have made more than one really dumb mistake which almost became permanent. but that is part of the excitement.


Article: 9 of 12
From: kerian <keriand>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1998 01:49:34 GMT
On 12 Nov 1998 01:45:02 GMT, nicoleC@qimr.edu.au (Nicole Cloonan) wrote:

Philip the Foole (ptf@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
In addition to solo self-bondage, I also enjoy tying myself up for the enjoyment of my partner, or having them place themselves in self-bondage while I watch and perhaps provide some assistance with those last hard-to-reach knots.

Sometimes when I do self-bondage I fantasize about being my own captive. My pro-domme friend Margaret likes to interrogate her clients about their sex lives. Professional interest. (She claims.) She says this type of fantasy self-bondage "switching" is very common.

I know we had a discussion of "switching camera angle" a while back in partner play. Anybody else enjoy this sort of solo mental gymnastics?

In order for it to turn me on, it has to be realistic. I have to believe that I can't get out of the bondage, and there has to be some "logical" reason why I am there. The fantasy of nonconsenuality is really *hot*. Just being tied up (even with stimulation) doesn't do anything for me. So, there has to be some sort of scenario as to how I ended up on my bed tied up in knots.
I often fantasize that there is a male tormenter and I switch to that role breifly to convince myself that it is *likely*. I don't play the role for long. Just long enough to say "here is the likely scenario up until this point", and then I can get down to the business of being the helpless victim. I don't switch back and forth though, so I'm not sure if this is what you're asking about?
Sometimes I wonder if I were to actually be kidnapped and err... persecuted in the manner I fantazise about, whether I would actually enjoy it. *shrug* Probably. Fear is a big turn on for me. Nicole.
--

Agreed, fantasy is such an integral part of it at times to get the full effect, and without a reasonable scenario its hard to get into that headspace. The setup is important, and i tend to slip back into thinking about it through the experience every once in awhile to keep the mood.

As to having it tight, you dont always have to have that partner handy, though for some things it helps, esp when things dont go as planned....when it is difficult to get myself out though, it does become part of the fantasy about not being able to escape on my own. In a weird way it can be fun to be kept in tight bondage longer than you'd really like to be there...guess I like to test my limits, but not an experience for everyone. Though I have always been able to get myself free, getting the hook to catch the zipper of an armbinder when you're the one wearing it can be HARD (garbage twisty ties really help when getting yourself IN ;) since with putting your weight into it, they break away)

Kidnapping is a popular fantasy in many ways (though I dont think i'd like it if it actually happened), another would be that I am just helping a friend test gear he wants to use on another, but likes on me so much he decides to keep me in bondage.

Keri


Article: 10 of 12
From: Lovenylonz <lovenylonz>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: 14 Nov 1998 06:45:02 GMT
any possibility of arranging a denver ski trip to switch 'apres Ski?' I would love to hear more on this topic, care to share?


Article: 11 of 12
From: Philip the Foole <ptf>
Subject:     Re: female self-bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1998 11:00:26 -0800
> Keri: Though I have always been able to get
myself free, getting the hook to catch the zipper of an armbinder when you're the one wearing it can be HARD (garbage twisty ties really help when getting yourself IN ;) since with putting your weight into it, they break away)

Foole: What a clever idea! That's the most original self-bondage trick I've seen in a long time. What do you use for a "fail-safe" in case the zipper jams or you are unable to connect to the hook?

Your Humble Jester,

Philip the Foole


Article: 12 of 12
From: <ruru67>
Subject:     Re: female self bondage (Re: Female Supremacy and Supremacists
Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1998 06:23:14 GMT

OK, I'm not female (maybe I should change the subject line?), but I'm enjoying this thread...

Keri writes:

Agreed, fantasy is such an integral part of it at times to get the full effect, and without a reasonable scenario its hard to get into that headspace. The setup is important, and i tend to slip back into thinking about it through the experience every once in awhile to keep the mood.

I'm a little different; I enjoy the restraint itself, and really like to believe I can't get out, but I'm not too fussed about the fantasy. (I *do* fantasize, but not (much) during self-bondage.) The few times I've really got myself into trouble have been amazing experiences, for a while anyway (until I've managed to myself off, at which point I usually want out *now*). Thus I tend to like strenuous, and frankly difficult self-bondage scenarios, including suspension. Especially suspension. (All my earliest SB schemes were suspensions -- we're going back to about age 6 here, and I *think* I had these leanings at about age 2 -- I guess I was just born kinky.)

(Maybe I've just got lucky, but apart from one case many many years ago I've never been really stuck. It's amazing what the human body can do when it's really in the shit -- I have several items of busted bondage gear that demonstrates this. And I've never missed a phone call while in SB -- I've even physically broken out of metal handcuffs to get to the phone in time. Call me highly strung, but phone ringers do that to me...)

Philip the Foole <ptf@ix.netcom.com> wrote:

> Keri: Though I have always been able to get
myself free, getting the hook to catch the zipper of an armbinder when you're the one wearing it can be HARD (garbage twisty ties really help when getting yourself IN ;) since with putting your weight into it, they break away)
Foole: What a clever idea! That's the most original self-bondage trick I've seen in a long time. What do you use for a "fail-safe" in case the zipper jams or you are unable to connect to the hook?

Struggle, probably. :-)

I made a home-brew armbinder out of some old vinyl flooring material and packing tape. It has loops on the front and back of the top of the binder, through which passes a nylon webbing strap with a double-d-ring one-way tensioning thingy. I slip each arm through this, jam the end of the looped strap in a door, put my arms in the binder and pull. The binder slides up my arms, pulling the elbows to about 3" apart.

Getting out is a little trickier. Because the strap is not crossed in front, if it can be pulled off the shoulder, the binder slides down enough that I can get my arms out again. I usually use a doorknob for this, although a door frame or other edge alone can sometimes be used, albeit with some difficulty.

I don't do this very often, mainly because although I'm limber enough that my elbows can be pulled together, any real backward strain on my shoulders cuts something off, and my hands & arms go numb within about five minutes. This is Unpleasant. And a darn nuisance, coz for the little while before the pins & needles kick in it's a delicious piece of restraint. :-)

I did once manage to arrange things so that I didn't go numb, so I'd be rather interested to know what's likely to be getting cut off (I think it's in the shoulders rather than elbows) so I can figure out the trick I missed before as to how to wear this thing "comfortably"...

R.