An Adventure In Self-Bondage
As far as I can think back, I have been interested in Self-Bondage.
Since I do believe that others are also interested in it and I do have
some experience with it, I would like to share some of my knowledge
with you in this story. For this I will tell you about one of my
latest experiences. Maybe you'll like it -- I liked it very much.
I started with these kind of games back when a friend of mine
gave me a pair of handcuffs as a present at a party and jokingly
recommended that I try them on my boyfriend sometime. Curious as I was
I tried them on myself when I got home. The feeling of helplessness
I experienced -- I can't really describe that feeling to you --
excited me extremely. It was increased by the fact that it was myself
that had imposed the helplessness on me.
After that I saw handcuffs in a new light. Naturally I continued to
use them to enjoy the feelings they induced. I started buying all
sorts of stuff which I thought could be useful to tie myself up,
torture or humiliate myself. Soon I had a rich collection of rope,
belts, chains, all sorts of cuffs, not to mention a number of bonds
made out of rubber and silk. Various gags, clips and other bondage
material enrich my collection.
It became a challenge for me to find new ways and positions to tie
up and gag myself, but still be able to free myself in the end. I was
fascinated by bondage, or better yet, by self-bondage.
The fear to be all alone, tied up, not knowing whether or not one
can ever come free again without help -- it is one of those
indescribable feelings. What would happen if someone else would find
me, gagged and bound to the extreme?
Once you have found a simple method of freeing yourself anytime you
want to, that anxiety is gone. But is this what I want?
Self-bondage could be even more exciting if there was something
that was forced upon me while I am helpless, carefully tied up as
tight as possible.
This was what I was looking for. I missed it. Since I am scared to
let myself be tied up by someone else, I was looking for a long time.
Then one day I saw pictures of a tied-up woman getting an enema in
some magazine. I had never thought about enemas before, although they
weren't completely unknown to me. This gave me the idea to try this
out. An enema that started sometime while I was bound and defenseless,
that I was unable to stop and that I could not escape from. To be
forced to hold it some time after that -- it must be a feeling like
being tickled while being tied up. I had to try it.
This is what I want to tell you about.
I tried to imagine how I would tie myself securely, then start the
enema some time after that and hold it, then free myself and, above
all, do this without making a mess.
My problem was how to start the enema after I tied myself up, and
how to keep myself from coming free until some time after that. In
addition I wanted to restrain myself in a way to keep me from
escaping the enema once I was bound an fixed in place.
One trick that I had used before:
The key that unlocks the restraint put on last (usually the
handcuffs or some leather cuffs) is put into water and placed in the
freezer, until it is completely frozen in an ice-cube. Now it is
virtually impossible for me to free myself until all the ice has
thawed. This way all my restraints stay securely locked for quite some
time. Usually I put the ice-cube in a place where I can still reach it
even when I'm tied up. Another possibility is to place the ice-cube on
a hook in the ceiling. Once the ice has melted, the key drops from the
ceiling. For example if I tie myself to the bed or a chair, I tie one
end of a string to the hook, and the other one to the key. When the
ice has melted, the key drops down and dangles in a position where I
can reach it.
This allows for an endless variety when playing with self-bondage.
By changing the size of the ice-cube I can influence the amount of
time I have to stay in bondage.
So I started to freeze the string with the key for the handcuffs
the night before. I a second ice-cube I froze a piece of string -- I
will talk about the purpose of this piece of string later on.
About one o'clock in the afternoon I started my bondage-pleasure. The
first thing I did was write a short note, in which I explained where
to find all the various keys, and what they were for. I placed this
note in an envelope, put it on the table and wrote the name of my
best friend on it. Then I called her and asked whether she could come
around later that evening, sometime around 10pm, to pick up some stuff
I had for her. I also told her that she should not hesitate to come
in, even if I didn't answer the door. After all, she does have her own
key. The reason for this, of course, was that my rescue was ensured if
anything would go wrong with the key or the ice. It would take some
time, but at least I would be rescued.
The idea of someone like my best friend finding me, completely tied
up and gagged, with an enema in my body -- it created the most
extraordinary feeling within me.
Then I walked around the house, checked if everything was ok and
placed one key in the mailbox at the garden entrance, the other one
in the garage. After all, I should have to go through some trouble to
The next thing was to dress for the occasion. Over time, I have
learned to love rubber as a wunderfully constraining and erotically
shining material. This was the reason why it was perfect for this
venture. First I put on a pair of black rubber stockings and a
matching rubber corset with the appropriate garters to hold up the
stockings. The corset came up to my neck, but there were openings for
my breasts. I didn't put on panties, since I wanted to put on my heavy
chastity belt made of leather later on.
This chastity belt has a rather wide waistband and a strap that is
placed between the legs and locked to the waistband in front. Attached
to this strap are a buttplug and a vibrator, which is supposed to keep
me happy while being bound. The buttplug is hollow, and this is where
the enema should be plugged in.
Next I put on my knee-high, white leather boots. The boots are
laced in front and have 12.5 cm (5 inch) high heels. This makes
walking and even standing difficult and constrains your freedom to
move about so wonderfully -- which of course is the reason why I put
them on in the first place. Of course I laced them up very tight and
carefully. I looked at myself in the mirror that I placed in the
middle of the room. I liked what I saw -- the contrast of the black
rubber on my body to the white boots, and the feeling to be the one in
this outfit ...
Inside the left boot I had taped a key near my toes. This key was
for the gag of my bridle, that I wanted to put on later on. Without
the key I would be unable to remove the bridle once I put it on.
After that I put a pair of leather cuffs around my ankles and
locked them, leaving only a chain 30 centimeters (12 inches) between
them. This forced me to make tiny steps in my high heeled boots and
made getting around even more difficult. The key for the locks of the
cuffs was in the mailbox at the garden gate. Therefore I would have to
wait until it was dark before I could get it, unless of course I would
want to risk being seen walking through the garden in broad daylight,
tied-up and gagged, dressed in a rubber corset and stockings, wearing
white high heeled boots -- it would raise some questions.
Now I was ready to gag myself. I took the bridle and placed it on
my head. I openen my mouth and placed the ball-gag between my lips,
fastened the strap under my hair and then proceeded to fasten all the
other straps of the bridle. The last one was the strap around my chin.
After I had closed it, my mouth was pressed tight around the gag. Now
I was in a condition I liked very much, securely gagged. All I could
do now was make soft, unclear sounds, and my mouth, my voice could no
longer help me to escape the constraints. When the last lock clicked
into place I knew that I was unable to remove the gag and bridle
without it. The key was in my left boot, and I could not take that off
without the key to the cuffs around my ankles -- and that one was in
the mailbox at the garden entrance. Isn't that beautiful? I would have
to stay the whole day the way I was now. There was no fast way out of
my current situation.
I continued. It was about time to put the icecubes into place. The
keys to my handcuffs were tied to a carefully measured string. This
was frozen together with the keys into the icecubes, except the end of
the string, which I now fastened to a hook in the ceiling. Now the
icecube was hanging on the ceiling, and when the ice had thawed
completely, the key would fall from the ceiling and dangle exactly
where my tied-up hands would be, to allow me to free myself -- or so
I hoped. I placed the other icecube, the one with just the frozen
piece of string, also on the ceiling using one end of the string. Then
I fastened a weight on the other end. I tied a second piece of string
to the weigth, with its other and fastened to a clip. This clip would
cut off the tube of the enema. Once the ice melted, the weight would
tear the clip from the tube and thus start the enema. Then there would
be no way to stop the water from entering my ass.
Now I was ready for the last steps of my Self-Bondage Adventures. I
loaded my VCR with about 5 hours of bondage-movies, to keep up my
spirit and to intensify my feelings. I set the timer so that it would
start about 20 minutes after I was completely immobilzied.
Now I filled the container for the enema with hot water. I used hot
water because it would take a while for the ice to melt, and I didn't
like cold water. I mounted the container on a rack, and plugged the
tube in. The container was now at a height of about 1.90 meters (about
6' 4"); this i hoped would give the water enough force for the enema.
Then I placed the clip on the tube and opened the tap on the
container. Everything was sealed tight.
I made a last round through the house to make sure that everything was
alright. I didn't want to have more than one surprise while I was tied
up. All doors were closed amd my answering machine was ready to
receive calls. A tape told would-be callers that I was "bound" at the
moment, but hoped to be available again later that evening.
The last steps! I stood at the place where I would have to stay for
the rest of my bondage. I had put two hooks into the floor, about
1.20 meters (4 feet) apart. I stood between them, took two straps and
attached one to each of the hooks. I fixed one of the straps on my
right ankle cuff, the other one on my left. Then I tightened the
straps so that my legs were pulled apart to the full length of the
chain between the two anklecuffs. Then I put on a 7 cm (3 inch) wide
collar. It is very tight and forces me to keep my head straight.
Attached to this collar is a chain about 20 cm (8 inches) long, on
which I have attached the handcuffs with a couple of padlocks. The key
to the handcuffs was inside the ice-cube on the ceiling. The length of
the chain was measured so that my hands would be exactly in the middle
of my back. This way I would be unable to reach the buttplug or the
tube of the enema, rendering me unable to stop it.
I put the heavy leather waistband of my chastity belt around my
waist and pulled it very tight before buckling it. I inserted the
buttplug carefully, then turned on the vibrator and pushed it into my
already wet pussy. Then I fastened the strap between my legs on the
waistband also very tight. After that I locked the chastity belt.
There was no way for me to open it now without having the key. The key
for it was in the bathroom and the key to the bathroom was in the
garage. Once my hands were free again, I would have to walk to the
garage first, still wearing the chastity belt, the working vibrator in
my pussy, the belly filled with the water from the enema, my head in
the bridle and my mouth filled with the gag. Dressed in high heeled
white boots, and the black rubber corset which exposed my breasts and
the rubber stockings, legs still cuffed together with a chain between
the ankles. Just thinking about it now made me shiver with
With one last look I checked my position to make sure that the key
would fall into the right place once the ice melted. I had tried this
a couple of times before, so I was pretty sure it would work, although
I could never be 100 percent certain.
Except a couple of minor details, everything was ready. I carefully
attached the tube of the enema to the buttplug of my chastity belt.
and checked so it would stay there no matter how hard I tried to get
rid of it. With a deep breath I took my nipple clips and put one on
They didn't hurt (yet). But from now on I knew that they were there.
I attached a small weight to each of the clips, suspended by a 15 cm
(6 inch) long spring. Every movement of my body would make the weights
go up and down and add to the irritation of my nipples and breasts.
A couple of long gloves made of fine leather completed my outfit.
This was not just because it looks good, but also to make unlocking
the handcuffs even more difficult. I knew that I would be able to do
it anyway, but I would have to be very patient and concentrate in
order to succeed.
To prevent myself from bending backwards to try and stop the enema,
I had put a hook with a strap on the ceiling right above my head. Now
I attached the strap to the D-ring on top of my bridle. Then I pulled
it as tight as possible. Now there was no other choice for me but to
The moment of truth had arrived. I put my hands behind my back, put
them in the handcuffs, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and pressed
them shut -- I had crossed the point of no return.
There was no way for me to turn back. I stood there, staring
fascinated at the figure in the large mirror in front of me. I saw a
young woman in rubber and boots, tied up, defenseless, with toys on
her nipples and behind her a rack with a dangerously large looking
container, with a tube running from it to her belly. I felt exactly
how I looked. Scared yet great, helplessly agitated, horny and
threatened by the enema that was coming any time in the near future.
I couln't move move more than a couple of centimeters (inches) in
either direction. The vibrator did its work and kept up my sexual
excitement. Every movement of my body was immediately transferred to
my nipples by the weights, springs and nipple-clips. The waistband of
my chastity belt and the corset hugged my body very tight and standing
in the high heeled laced boots added to the pain that I wanted to
The only thing I forgot was to look at the clock before I started.
I knew that it had to be in the early afternoon, but that was about
it. From my past experience I knew that the ice-cube with the key for
the handcuffs would take about two-and-a-half hours to melt. What I
didn't know was how long the other ice-cube, the one with the string
and the weight on it would take until it would rip off the clip on the
tube. I intentionally didn't test that. I thought that because of the
added weight it would be rather early. But that was the reason behind
it, after all it should be the unavoidable incident that should come
unpredictably during my time in bondage. This is the way I wanted it
and was prepared to endure.
After a while the VCR turned itself on and I tried to relax while I
was watching my favorite bondage movies. It was hard to relax and
follow the plot of the movies while the vibrator did its work inside
of me and kept my excitement up.
Even with the films running, time moved very slow. The muscled in
my legs grew tired and my feet started to hurt because of the high
heels on my boots. The gag seemed to grow larger and larger, and my
expectation of the coming enema grew larger. I had no idea what it
would be like, since I had never tried it before. The later it got,
the more scared I got. I began asking myself whether or not I had made
a mistake. But it was too late anyway. I had tied myself up perfectly,
with no way to escape ...
The way I was tied up I could only see the ice-cubes for the the key
to my handcuffs. I was unable to see the other ice-cube for the weight
that would tear off the clip that started the enema. This made sure
that the surprise was perfect. Once the weight fell down I would have
about five seconds before the water would enter. The dropping of the
weight would be the only warning.
Hours seemed to have passed since I had put my hands on my back and
closed the handcuffs behind me. In the middle of the fourth movie I
heard the weight fall.
I desperately tried to keep the water from entering my body, but I
had planned my bondage perfectly -- I had no chance of reaching the
tube. It was a strange feeling when the water started to flow.
It entered my body, warm, unstoppable, filling my belly further and
further. The desire to go to the toilet grew, but my bondage kept me
>from doing this, and the water continued to flow. I had put about two
liters (half a gallon) of water into the container, thinking that it
would be enough -- it was enough alright! My assumption that I had
made a mistake was confirmed now. But there was nothing I could do. I
had succeeded, as planned, to inflict something I couldn't stop on
myself while I was in bondage. My only hope now was that the ice with
the key to my handcuffs would melt soon -- but what if something went
wrong with it?
On the other hand the feeling in my belly was exciting, or was it the
pain the enema had caused? The feeling to have to endure all of this
helplessly, having inflicted it on myself, the combination of the
enema and the vibrator, the nipple clips, the gag, the tight corset
and chastity belt, the boots and my bonds -- it took everything my
body could give. The first wave of orgasm hit me like a brick wall.
Then came the second wave. I was in heaven.
Without the strap that was attached to my bridle, the one that kept my
body upright, I would have collapsed instantly. I tried to breathe but
couldn't, and was sweating all over my body. Slowly my breath came
back, but with it also the cramps in my belly. I had just one wish at
that point -- to get out of my restraints. But a look to the ice-cube
with the key to my handcuffs told me that I would have to bear my
position a while longer.
At this point, time seemed to stand still. The more I wanted the
ice to melt faster, the slower it seemed to do so. My filled belly
was getting more and more uncomfortable, and the urge to go to the
toilet became stronger and stronger.
About half an hour later, in which I had to put up with that awful
urge to go to the toilet, the ice-cube with the key to my freedom
finally had melted. The keys fell down and dangled near my hands.
Four times I tried to unlock my handcuffs in vain. My leather gloves
had worked exactly as they were supposed to. I tried to concentrate,
then it worked. My hands were free again. After that I removed the
strap that held my head and body upright, then I took off the collar.
Carefully I removed the nipple clips. My nipples were erect and
extremely sensitive now from all of my attempts to escape the enema
earlier on. The weights attached to the clips had pulled quite a bit
as a result of this. Finally I got rid of the leather gloves. I was
free -- except for the tube which was still attached to the buttplug,
and the straps that pulled my legs apart. I took the clip that was
laying on the floor, removed the string from it and put it on the
tube as near to the buttplug as possible. Turning to the back and
concentrating on sealing the tube was rather difficult with my filled
belly. Once the clip sealed the tube tight, I could remove the tube
>from the container. Now I could bend down and unhook the straps that
had been spreading my legs apart for all that time. I cut the tube as
close to the clip as possible, so that I wouldn't be dragging a "tail"
I was free and could walk around. As far as it was possible with my
filled and aching belly, I stretched in order to move my muscles. But
the pressure in my stomach reminded me that I should get the key to
bathroom from the garage as soon as possible. The key to the chastity
belt was in the bathroom, and I had to get the damned thing off in
order to get rid of the buttplug and the vibrator (which was still
Carefully I walked to the back door an peeked out. Walking was
difficult now, for my feet were hurting inside the high heeled boots,
and the chain between my ankles wasn't making it any easier. Above all
the pain in my belly added to my problems. There was no one on the
backside of the house, therefore I opened the door an started on my
way to the garage.
Never ever had I run up the three steps back to the house then in
that moment, as I heard the neighbors talk at their back door. I
slipped through the door and tried to listen. From where they were
standing they could oversee the path to the garage. They talked about
washing the car and that they should have started earlier with it.
This of course meant waiting. I hoped that it wouldn't take too long,
since I really needed the key to the bathroom now, and my will-power
was rapidly diminishing. I walked back to the room and tried whether
lying down would ease the pain. It didn't. Meanwhile my jaw hurt
>from the gag, and all that walking around didn't help my poor feet at
all. After 15 minutes I walked back to the door and listened -- they
were still at it. Now they talked about trees and mowing the lawn. The
vibrator was keeping up its work all this time, but with the locked
chastity belt there was no way for me to turn it off. At least the
stimulation helped to relieve the pain a bit. All I could do now was
to wait some more.
Another 15 minutes had passed, and I was checking again whether I
could finally go to the garage unseen. They were still talking, but
now they were saying their goodbye's. I prayed that they wouldn't find
anything else to talk about.
Thank god, they left. I could finally go to the garage, went in,
took the bathroom key, and started on my way back. It must have been
at least 200 steps with the chain between my ankles and the high
heeled boots. I went to the bathroom straight away, took the key to the
lock of that damned chastity belt and removed it immediately. Finally
I could relieve myself! It must have been some sight -- there I was,
sitting on the toilet, wearing knee-high white leather boots, black
rubber stockings and black rubber corset, bridle and gag and my feet
chained together with the cuffs.
I was sitting for quite some time until I felt better. After I had
recovered a bit, I decided to start cleaning up. My jaw and feet hurt,
but the key that could free me from that pain was still in the mailbox
at the garden entrance. I didn't dare to go there in broad daylight.
That meant that I would have to wait at least another two hours until
I could take off the gag and the boots. I hoped that I was able to
stand it that much longer.
Finally the darkness I had longed for had arrived, and I started
out on my way to the mailbox. Of course I checked that nobody else was
around who could see me. A quick walk to the mailbox, taking the key
and returning to the house. Excited and overjoyed to get rid of the
cuffs, the boots and the gag I had worn for the last seven hours, I
forgot the key to the house and, of course, the door had slammed shut.
Shivers were running up and down my spine. What now? But then I
remembered that I had left the back door open. I was shocked but glad
about my carelessness. The last walk, around the house, up the stairs
and into the room was almost as if I was in a trance. In my thoughts I
was already taking a shower. But first I had to proceed step by step.
First remove the cuffs and the chain. Then take off the boots and use
the key taped to the inside to unlock the bridle, allowing me to
remove the gag. What a relief! I thought I never would be able to move
my jaw and feet again. I dropped to the floor and tried to restore
the flexibility of my feet and jaw. Then I stood under the shower,
where I removed the rubber corset and the rubber stockings and enjoyed
the fresh, warm water for a long time.
There were still some things to be done in the hour that remained
until my best friend showed up. I am sure it would have been rather
interesting had she found me tied and gagged, with an enema in my ass.
I was satisfied with what I had experienced and glad that I had
learned something new. But I know one thing now: I will never, ever
try an enema again. I really hated it, but it made the helplessness in
bondage seem very real.